Original URL: http://life.familyeducation.com/aspergers/behavior/40203.html

Asperger Subtype: "The Logic Boy"

This child or teen needs to know the reasons for the rules before he is okay. Blindly accepting your rules is not the way he operates. He wants to know the reasons behind your actions, why something is done a certain way, and it has to make sense to him. If it seems too arbitrary, it's not an adequate reason in his mind, and he won't listen. His coping strategy is to try to make sense of the world through logic, reasoning, and rational thought. He wants the world to be a place with order and rationality to it. This reduces his anxiety. He may ask lots of questions about how the world works. He uses his very well-developed logical mind to understand what is going on, and you need to give him the reasoning behind a decision or an action.

He is often a very bright boy with a high IQ. He usually becomes more flexible when he knows the reason for something. The rule alone is not sufficient. After you have explained the reason for your request, many behavioral issues decrease. However, he may not accept your logic unless it is quite convincing, because he may very well have his own reasons and explanations. His view of the world is based on logic and reasons, which can also cause him to become overanalytical. In this case, he often cannot function appropriately because he never gets past the analysis stage to the action stage. He suffers from "analysis paralysis." Remember, not every Logic Boy has all of these characteristics.

Recommended Approach: You will need to explain why something needs to be done or why it can't be done before you will get compliance. For the Logic Boy, understanding precedes cooperation. If your explanations provide him with information he didn't have, might have overlooked, or didn't understand, you will have helped him clarify the way the world works and how a desired action is beneficial to him. As these children become older, you will need to do much more explaining because rules by themselves will have less impact. As you explain things to these children, always match your explanation to their cognitive and emotional level. Don't overestimate how much they know because they have a large vocabulary. Always make sure they understand you as you move step by step. As you explain something from a new angle you will help them see it differently. For those who overanalyze, you will have to help them reduce the amount of analysis by helping them see how it is unproductive.Let's look at an example:

Matt was an eight-year-old who always came home from school hungry. Each day he walked in the front door and began to argue with his mother about dinner. He wanted it right away and couldn't wait for her to finish it. These battles led to knock-down, drag-out fights, culminating in Mom pinning Matt to the floor. After going through this struggle on a daily basis, Mom sought help. As always, we discussed the particulars, gathered information, listened to all sides of the problem, and then began our discussion. It went something like this: Dr. S.: So, Matt, it seems you come into the house pretty hungry, don't you?

Matt: Yes, I do.

Dr. S.: And after arguing with Mom, it becomes a real fight, with you guys rolling around on the floor. Kicking and screaming.

Matt: That sounds like it.

Dr. S.: When Mom is down on the floor with you, she's of course still stirring and mixing and working on preparing dinner, isn't she?

Matt: (A long pause) Oh, I get it. Of course not. She's on the floor with me.

Dr. S.: You mean that wrestling with her doesn't get your dinner finished any quicker?

Matt: How can it?

Dr. S.: Well, that's the point, Matt. It can't, can it? It probably causes a real delay in getting dinner ready instead. Just what you didn't want.

Matt: I guess it doesn't help.

Dr. S.: You guess it doesn't help? Let me spell it out for you. Choice one: You come in the house and calmly and quickly work out a solution with Mom about your hunger and she can finish getting dinner ready. Choice two: You come in and fight with her. Dinner is not done quickly, but instead takes even longer to get ready. You wind up upset, without food, and having to wait even longer for it to be ready. Hmmm. Sounds like a really tough choice to make.

Matt: I get this, but what am I supposed to do when I come home and I'm really hungry?

Dr. S.: How about if the three of us come up with a list of foods you could eat then that won't ruin your appetite and will allow mom to finish dinner?

Matt: Okay.

Dr. S.: Let's write up this list and call it "a little something." That way, when you come home and you're hungry, Mom can say, "Matt, why don't you take "a little something' to eat?" and you'll both know what this means without arguing.

Matt: This sounds like a good idea.

We then drew up a written list on a three-by-five-inch index card, which he took home (and which we reviewed the next week to see if it worked it did). And the fighting ended.