Baby Naming Guidelines

There are some rules, or generally accepted practices, when it comes to creating almost anything, but there are virtually none when it comes to the art of naming – in the United States, anyway. About the only thing that's required of you is that you do name your baby at some point, and, usually, sooner is better (although you will have a little time to think about it after your baby is born, depending on where you live).

The majority of parents have a name picked out prior to the birth of their baby. But many parents get to birth day without a name. Others find that the name they thought was so perfect prior to birth no longer is — especially if they've selected a name that's appropriate for one sex and they end up with another.

There may not be any naming rules or laws, but there are naming guidelines. Four of them, in particular, are very basic and very good to keep in mind.

Guideline #1: Please Yourself

This is most important: Pick a name that pleases you. Remember, you – and your child – will have to deal with this name for a very long time. There's no way of guaranteeing that your little one will like the name you bestow upon him or her, so you might as well pick one that you like and can live with, because the chances are pretty good that there will be times when your kid will hate it.

It's the rare couple who doesn't get a temper tantrum or two at some point along the way from a little darling who just needs to blame his or her parents for any and all trauma associated with the burden of carrying whatever name he or she has. It doesn't even matter what kind of name it is, so don't think you're safe if you pick a common or popular name.

Your child's dislike of his or her name might make you angry, especially if you went through a lot of work to select it, and it can hurt you if you selected a name that you truly love. But you might as well face the fact right now that it's bound to happen. The good news is, most kids grow out of it or find something else to pin their problems on.

Along these lines, it's a good idea to put into place whatever filtering mechanisms you have when it comes to fielding naming suggestions from family members and relatives. You might be in a situation where either cultural or religious traditions will have a strong influence on the name you choose. Remember, the final decision is yours and yours alone, no matter how disappointed Aunt Mildred is that you didn't name your new son Milton after her deceased husband. (The same goes for well-meaning friends, by the way. Take their suggestions with a grain of salt.)

You'll find more on keeping family members happy, as well as on various naming traditions you may need to keep in mind, in Baby Names: Dealing with Family Demands.

Guideline #2: No Singular Sensations

It happens more frequently than you think. Either the bundle you end up with in your arms just doesn't fit the name you've selected, or it turns out to be a girl when you were expecting a boy. Don't get caught completely flatfooted by working toward selecting one perfect name. Develop a short list of several possibilities so you don't get locked into one name, only to be disappointed when you can't use it.

Guideline #3: Don't Fly Solo

If you're married or in a committed relationship during the time you're pregnant, make sure your significant other is involved in the process. It's an important part of moving beyond being a couple to becoming parents. Sadly, many guys say they feel left out of the naming process or that their input really wasn't all that welcome.

Even if you're in a situation where you are having your baby on your own, enlist someone else to work with you on selecting a name. It really is an experience you'll enjoy more if you share it with another person, especially if it's someone you treasure having in your life. Whoever you chose will probably be very honored that you asked.

Guideline #4: Don't Be Silly

I grew up with a girl named Candance Barr. No one ever called her Candance. Candy Barr was cute for a little kid, but I always wondered what her parents were thinking on that one. Did they really believe that Candy Barr would be a name that would easily take their child through her adult years?

The list of cute names, and, for that matter, unfortunate name combinations that have been bestowed by parents over the years, is lengthy. Some of the better known include: Justin Case, Crystal Ball, Kitty Katz (sounds like a stripper), and, of course, the famous Ima Hogg.

I can't think of too many parents who would intentionally give a cute or silly name to their child, but it can happen inadvertently. It's another good reason for test-driving the names you're considering.

So, this much you know at this point:

• You're going to choose a name you like;
• You're going to choose more than one name;
• You're going to do it with your spouse, significant other, or someone else who is close to you; and
• You're going to stay away from being cute.

Beyond that, your canvas is probably pretty blank. Let's start filling it in!

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Baby Names © 1999 by Sonia Weiss. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

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