Babies in the Bed: Is It Safe?

By the time Amy Barnum had her third child, she knew just what to do when the pediatrician asked if her children were sleeping in their own beds. She lied.

"It's just impossible to keep them in their beds, especially when you're nursing," Barnum believes. "You bring the baby into bed with you, and the baby falls asleep, and then you fall asleep."

It's a common practice; for some, a cultural preference. Nevertheless, the Federal Consumer Product Safety Commission is now warning moms and dads that they should never sleep with infants and toddlers under age two. The latest recommendation to parents was made at a news conference sponsored by the American Medical Association. The advice is based on the results of a single government study, conducted over eight years. In that period, the deaths of 515 children under age two were attributed to sleeping in adult beds. Even so, the numbers are only slightly higher than those for crib-related deaths. An average of 50 deaths per year are blamed on placing babies in cribs that do not meet federal safety standards, as opposed to 64 a year due to sleeping in adult beds.

"Those numbers would not change what I do," Barnum says. "They would have to do more studies with larger numbers."

Stats vs. Survival
A random survey of parents with young children reveals an almost guarded reaction to the latest edict from experts on the ABC's of child rearing. Will Prinz, father of a two-year-old who suffered multiple ear infections during his first year, says snoozing on a couch with his child was a nighttime survival strategy.

"Yeah, sure I worried about it (rolling over on his son)," he recalls. "You know that, statistically, it happens. But it's also very rare. And parents have to get sleep, have to function."

Whether opposed to sleeping with kids or all for it, most parents interviewed objected to the government's issuing a proclamation on a habit or practice that appears to work well for some. Susie Metz, mother of seven-week-old Nathan, "couldn't possibly" sleep with her baby in the same bed, but drew back from endorsing the latest wisdom from Washington.

"Children are resilient, and families are different," she observes. "I think the information is useful, but the pronouncement is not." Barnum agrees.

"I think the pronouncements only make it harder. It's very difficult to 'never' do something when you're a parent."

Trusting Your Instincts
Some parents likened the "No Baby in the Bed" warning to the American Academy of Pediatrics' recent advisory that parents should restrict TV viewing by children under age two. But to Amy Podolsky, mother of one-year-old Josh, the two issues are starkly different.

"With TV, it's on so that you can take care of yourself," she reasons. "As an at-home mom, I know I need that half hour (while son watches TV) to get a break, or make dinner. Sleeping with your child seems like you're creating a bad habit."

Still, what strikes one family as risky behavior is an essential act of nurturing for another. For example, many working parents who are away from their children all day, crave physical closeness with their children at night.

"I think getting caught between 'you should do this' and 'you shouldn't do that' is difficult," Metz says, cradling her newborn. "Your own instincts are worth a lot."

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