Baby's Sleep: 12 Months

by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., author of Sleep: The Brazelton Way

By the time they are 1 year old, many children will be sleeping somewhere between 11 and 12 hours at night. Some children will still have both a morning and an afternoon nap, but most will give up the morning sometime during the second year.

With the excitement of walking alone, however, new sleeping issues are likely to arise. The new toddler finds she can explore her world much more completely. She can crawl up on tables. She can even climb up her cribside. If she tries to get out, remove any crib bumpers and move the mattress to the lowest possible level. It may be time to add a safety-approved extension to the side of the crib. If she can still climb out, it is time to ove her to a bed. Usually this will be at 3-4 years, but for a number of children, the time comes earlier. It is certainly likely to be necessary that you go to her more often. With her increased power to explore, the child is realizing that she can both leave her parents around the corner, but also remind them that she's out of sight. A cry for help produces results in a few seconds. It becomes thrilling to set up games of "rescue me" in order to interrupt her parents' concentration—on the phone, at the stove, or any other activity. "You'd better stay by my side. I can get into all kinds of trouble now," she seems to beckon.

Affirming Bedtime Rituals

Bedtime rituals begin to be tested. No longer is the baby ready to go down smoothly and easily. Calling a parent back can become a power play. The parent needs to set a limit on the "game" of being called back—without getting entangled in the struggle. Unless the bedtime ritual really works to help her settle, unless she has firmly learned to put herself down into deep sleep, every bedtime separation can become a tussle as the toddler tests to see whether her parents really mean it or not.

This is the time for parents to recognize how hard it is for a child to give up one activity for another, especially for sleep. To help, warn the child in advance: "This is the last book we are going to read. I know it's hard to stop. But when it's over, time for a lullaby and kiss good night. Then—lights out." A little later say, "Remember this is the last story. We only have three more pages to read. Time to get yourself ready to say goodnight." When parents are certain that testing must end, the child will know it and comply.

Changes in Routine

Whenever there's a change in the household routine, she'll start waking again. "We just went away for the weekend. She stayed with her grandmother whom she loves. But since we got back, she's been waking at 2 A.M. every night. She knows that I feel guilty about having left her. Do you think she's playing on that?" Yes, I do. Not in an angry or intentional way, but she may have feelings left over from your being away. I'd certainly go to her and comfort her to sleep. The fact that you are determined that she can do it can be reassuring to her. I think you'll find that when she does start sleeping through again, she'll be as happy as you are. A few weeks later I often hear: "I can't tell you how delighted she was the morning after the night she slept all the way through. She said 'I did it!' and hugged her blanket."

After a stressful experience, such as an appointment for immunizations, a toddler is almost bound to wake up at night. She may cry out as if she were terrified, though nightmares are more likely after age 2. As her push toward independence continues, her dependency may well show up at night. Reassure her but let her know you expect her to get herself back to sleep. During the day, you may need to allow her to be more dependent. Assure her that she's really doing a big girl's job by comforting herself with her thumb and her lovey. She may come to your bed more often after a stressful day. I'd see this as a plea for more comfort.

Prepare her each time for learning all over again how to return to her own sleep patterns. Reemphasize her lovey and her self-comforting pattern. The goal will be to help her remember that she can get herself back down. Your anger and frustration won't work. Sympathy and understanding will. But she'll also need your firm expectation that she will learn again to sleep through the night. When she does, she will be as relieved as you are.

Excerpted from Sleep: The Brazelton Way © 2003 by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua D. Sparrow, M.D. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Perseus.

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