Bipolar Children and Eating Out

Eating in a restaurant offers its own forms of torment. Long waits. Noisy kitchens. Unfamiliar smells. The "wrong" food. And yet, getting your child used to eating out is important, and if carefully planned, it can be a nice break for the whole family. Picking the right restaurant is key; it's helpful to avoid those places that are noisy or overly crowded. And going early in the evening may make all the difference.

Often, one of the biggest hassles in restaurant-land is the menu. Chances are that your bipolar child doesn't like surprises, so when she finds out that Charlie's Diner only serves cheeseburgers after she's geared herself up for grilled cheese, you may have a problem on your hands. One parent I know solves this problem by keeping copies of menus from the family's favorite restaurants at home. Her youngster then has time to read the menu over, make some choices before leaving, and feel prepared. By the time she actually arrives at the restaurant, the problem of "menu surprise" has been eliminated.

In some cases, it may be best for you to ask for special accommodations for a child with sensory integration difficulties, such as needing to have her food cooked in a certain way or being seated at a table away from the kitchen. One parent helps her child by requesting a specific accommodation for herself. For example, she asks, "May we please have a table far away from the kitchen? I'm especially bothered by the noise." One day when her child is older, she'll be able to speak up for her own needs. But in this way, the mother has given her child a model of how to do it politely, and at the same time, she hasn't singled her out as different.

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