Grandiosity: Fine Line Between Reality and Fantasy

What is grandiosity?

When a manic or hypomanic bipolar person has wildly unrealistic ideas about his power or abilities, we in the medical community call this grandiosity. But because grandiosity looks different in kids than in adults, it often goes unrecognized by parents and professionals alike. When a grown-up experiences grandiosity, he may believe that the speed limit on the highway does not apply to him, or he might declare that he will run for president and win, even without conducting a campaign. In short, the person elevates himself to a higher level than the rest of the world.

A youngster with grandiosity believes that he is on a higher level, too. And who is at a higher level than a child? An adult, of course. If a bipolar child's mood is elevated, he may well think of adults as his equals or believe that he is superior to other kids. A child may ask the principal, "Are you done yet?" while being scolded for inappropriate behavior. Or he may declare that his science project was the best in the class, even though it was a bare-bones model of Saturn that he threw together at the last minute.

Nor is it uncommon for bipolar children to insist they are intellectually superior to the grown-ups in their world. Janet, a first-grader, came home from school one day and excitedly told her mother, "I learned how to spell 'bottle' today, like what my baby brother Maddox uses to drink milk." Her mom enthusiastically said, "Ok, tell me how." Full of self-confidence, Janet spelled "B-O-T-T-L." Her mother gently told her, "That's great! But there's an 'e' at the end." Janet looked her straight in the eye and said, "No there isn't. You're wrong! Even my teacher said that's how you spell it."

Her mother said, "Gee, are you sure? I'm kind of surprised. You know what? Let's look it up in the children's dictionary." Janet thought this was a good idea, and so her mom went to get the book. When they found the word, her mother said, "Here it is. You were so close, but 'bottle' does have an 'e' at the end. It's a silent 'e', so I can see why you didn't know it." Janet got outraged and began throwing a tantrum. "The dictionary is wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!" She felt she knew better than her mother, the dictionary, and probably the teacher as well.

It's also not uncommon for kids in a grandiose state to feel they are free to say anything they want to an adult. When nine-year-old Mitchell's mom wouldn't let him buy the video game he wanted, he launched into a major temper tantrum. "You always lie," he yelled. "You're the worst mother in the world. You meany. You're meaner than the wicked witch in that story we read! And you're uglier, too!" In this case, it's clear that Mitchell felt he was entitled to get his video game, and he spoke to his mother in a way that indicated tremendous disrespect.

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