When to Give -- and When Not to Give -- Financial Help to Your Teen
These handy little questions ought to help you decide when giving or not giving is in your daughter's best interest and will or won't curb her growth, maturity, and independence.
|The Giving Benchmark|
|1. Is my daughter moving forward in life?||Yes||No|
|2. Does she have a direction and a goal?||Yes||No|
|3. Is she exhibiting responsible behavior?||Yes||No|
|4. Is she trying to be self-supporting?||Yes||No|
|5. Is she at least moderately established on her own?||Yes||No|
If you racked up five in the yes column, giving large or small gifts probably won't corrupt your daughter or turn her around into a financial dependent. A "No" to any question requires more prudent giving.
|The Benchmark for Not Giving|
|1. Is my daughter floundering and directionless?||Yes||No|
|2. Is my daughter still trying to find herself?||Yes||No|
|3. Is my daughter underachieving?||Yes||No|
|4. Is my daughter unable to hold a job?||Yes||No|
|5. Does my daughter look for handouts?||Yes||No|
If your checkmarks are predominantly in the yes category, giving indiscriminately will prolong your daughter's dependency and her habit of financially relying on you. Therefore, not giving might be in her best interest.
Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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