Home > Kids > Behavior and Discipline > Dealing With Bullies > Nine-Year-Old Won't Defend Himself
|

Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

Nine-Year-Old Won't Defend Himself

Family Safety Expert Advice from Gavin de Becker

Q: My nine-years-old son is very peaceful. He hates violence, to the extent that he doesn't defend himself when other kids hit him at school -- although he's strong and can fight well. Do you consider this a problem? Am I supposed to guide him to do otherwise? In my day, I used to fight back without thinking of consequences.

Thanks,
Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia

A: Your son sounds like a great kid. If he's suffering from the mistreatment of others, the solutions are probably best worked out with school officials.

Your own experience of fighting without thinking of consequences is something you grew out of because you matured. Fighting can be counter-productive and even dangerous. The lessons you learned have made their way into your peaceful boy, and now the challenge is to protect him, and nurture that which is peaceful in him.

More on: Expert Advice

Gavin de Becker is widely regarded as the leading U.S. expert on the prediction and management of violence. His work has earned him three Presidential appointments and a position on a congressional committee. He is currently co-chair of the Domestic Violence Council Advisory Board, and a Senior Fellow at the UCLA School of Public Policy.


Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

highlights

3 Fun Thanksgiving Games for Kids
Looking for some great Thanksgiving games to play with your kids? Print our free Pin the Feathers on the Turkey game, Pin the Hat on the Pilgrim game, and Thanksgiving Parade Bingo game for loads of laughs this Turkey Day!

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

8 Surprising Sources of Caffeine in Kids' Foods
Even low doses of caffeine can have an effect on your child's health. Since the FDA doesn't require caffeine content on food labels, learn about hidden sources of caffeine in kids' diets.

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!