Your Child's Development: Logic and Abstract Thought

Learning to be logical

By the time your child is three or four years old, she's moved way beyond some of the endearing behaviors of her babyhood and become increasingly comfortable sharing ideas with you that seem startlingly mature. You'll actually find yourself having debates with your little girl and suddenly realizing, "Gee, she made a good point!" Before too long, your child will start peppering you with "Why?"'s, "How come?"'s, and "Because"'s. She'll be supporting her wishes and desires with real evidence, and will require you to do the same. When you present her with some cooked spinach for dinner, for example, she may very well wrinkle up her nose in disgust and scornfully announce, "I don't like this stupid spinach because it looks yucky and it'll make me sick!" Between the ages of 30 and 48 months, she will gradually show you that she can connect one idea to another in a meaningful and logical manner. In the years ahead, achieving this exciting new milestone will support her ability to reason, to study, and eventually to work in a complex society.

When your child says, "I want to go outside", and you reply, "Why?, you are giving her a chance to logically tie her ideas to yours with a reason: "Because I want to play with my friend." Just a year ago, when she looked at you and implored, "Go out?" and you asked her, "Why?" she would simply reiterate, "Go out, go out, go out!" She wasn't able yet to connect her ideas to yours. At first blush, this ability to link her idea to yours, or string together two or three of her own ideas, may seem like a fairly simple accomplishment. However, when you stop and consider all the ramifications of this ability, it turns out to be a monumental stepping stone toward mature, rational thinking.

Your child is not only learning to be logical as she discusses her current desire to go outside or to get some juice. She is also learning to build bridges between her ideas in terms of a sense of time. The past, present, and future are starting to make more sense to her. When she asks to go outside, and you answer, "Not now, sweetheart," she's likely to counter with "When? When?" Your reply of "Give me fifteen minutes and we'll go as soon as you hear the buzzer on the washing machine" will probably be met with a wailing "No, no, NOW! No waiting!" This capacity to link her ideas to yours in terms of future or past behaviors doesn't develop overnight, but will become more and more apparent during the coming year.

Your child will also become increasingly adept at linking her ideas and yours in terms of space, or near and far. When she asks, "Where are you going?" and you say, "I'm going to the store," she might absently nod and be left with a comfortable feeling that you'll be back soon. Since she's been to the store with you many times before, she understands that it's nearby. She knows the difference between going to the store and going to Grandpa's house, which is very far away. In fact, if you tell her that you're going to Grandpa's she's likely to look more distressed and start protesting, "No, no, don't go!" or "Take me, take me!"

Your child is also learning to make connections between ideas that convey feelings. She may disarmingly ask, "Why are you sad?" when you look forlorn. She can also tell you why she is mad at her brother: "He took my doll and I want it back!"

During these months your child is also coming to understand events from many points of view at the same time. Even her daily activities are no longer viewed from one simple perspective, as they were in the past. At the age of two, when she was confronted with new objects she either liked them or she didn't. A cookie was yummy or it was yucky. Now, however, she has a far more complex relationship to the cookie and is able to ask herself, "How many cookies am I going to get from Daddy now, and when am I going to get more from him?" Your child can link two or three ideas into a unified thought: "I like cookies and they make me feel happy," or "The grocery store is nearby so it's easy for us to get more cookies." Even something as seemingly unidimensional as a cookie is now understood from many angles at once.

Like the blind men who each tried to describe an elephant after feeling different parts, a little child may be able to perceive only one part of the animal. However, when she grows older she is able to see the whole elephant because she can move around it and observe how all the different parts are connected. She need only glance at the elephant's trunk to remember where its ears, legs, and eyes are. As the child becomes able to connect ideas together, even the tiniest feature or event can evoke a more complex awareness of the world. Her ability to bridge ideas lays the foundation for what most adults think of as academic-type intelligence and its various components, such as reading comprehension, scientific reasoning, analytic skills, and the ability to self-reflect.

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