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100 Questions to Ask Your Parents

An Introduction for Kids
Wouldn't it be fun to find out more about what your father or mother was like when he or 5he was a hid? Or get to tell your parents which of their friends you think looks dorkiest? Wouldn't conversation be more interesting if you and your family traded unexpected questions and answers at dinner rather than just talked about what homework did or didn't get done?

There are a lot of great things to talk about that no one ever brings up because we usually think of conversation as being serious rather than a way of being playful. Of course, conversation should be about serious things some of the time – some of the questions in this book are about very serious topics. But other times, questions should be asked just to create new ways to think about things, look back on our lives, or imagine what life would be like if we could design it any way we wanted. In fact, I wrote this book because I think talking can be terrific fun, and even talking to your parents and brothers or sisters can be a kind of great game. Everyone can get to know each other and laugh a lot – and be amazed from time to time. No one wins or loses, but there is an element of surprise in finding out personal information about parents – and sharing some of your ideas, daydreams, and opinions with them.

My idea is to think of some of the world's most interesting questions that parents and kids could talk about and give everyone the chance to pick the ones they'd tike to hear about. Each person picks a question to ask and then answers a question when his c her turn comes around. All you have to do is choose from the list under 201 Questions to Ask Your Parents and ask any question you want. Your parents can take as long or as short a time as they want to answer. And you can all discuss the topic if you like. But then they go into their section of the book and ask you questions. Some of them might not be so interesting, but others – like asking you who is the meanest kid you know – might be cool to think about and share with them. They'll learn a lot about what you think are ways kids act nasty!

You can wiggle out of any two questions that don't interest you or are embarrassing – but no more than that. It's good if a question makes you squirm a little; that means you either haven't thought about it before, or you have but you haven't wanted to deal with it. But why not try out an answer? Pick a set length of time to play for – and my guess is you'll want to extend it. These questions get addictive! You can play them at the dinner table, or after dinner, or on a car trip, or anytime you feel like hearing what your parents will say about something.

So, this is a book about how to have interesting and often funny conversations with your family. It's a way to avoid dead, boring silences and fill the time instead with questions and answers that everyone will enjoy thinking about. I know that in my family, it is too easy for us to get stuck talking about practical things like who has to be taken where the next day. That isn't particularly fun. It doesn't let me in on what my kids are thinking, and it doesn't help my two teenagers learn things that might help them understand me a little better.

The trick of good family conversation is that questions have to be really worth asking and answering. So I have taken a lot of care about which questions to include in this book. In fact, I went to the experts. I sat down with my kids and asked them to help me think of questions that wouldn't be boring, too embarrassing dumb, or demanding. I liked most of the questions they came up with. But I needed even more questions. So I went out and asked a lot of other people-both parents and kids – what subjects and what stone about each other they would really like to know about.

The questions in this book are the result of that search. I think that if you ask your parents some of these questions, you will get to see them in ways you've never seen them before. I also think there are questions here that they can ask you that will give you a chance to shine; to be funny, truthful, and smart. Most of these questions will also make you think about what is important to you or your parents. You can find out about the experiences and feelings your parents' lives – and in your own life – that made everyone who they are today. (For example, you might not have really thought about what movie star you would most like to look like [and why] or what kind of house you would pick if it was up to you – but you will find out something about what you really like when you have to state a preference.)

When your parents pick a question and ask you to answer it, you might worry that it will be too tough a request. But it won't be. This book will not put you in too ticklish a spot. Absolutely not. The point of this book is to discover each other in a good way . . . and have fun doing it. Did you know that sometimes kids grow up and never find out who was the first person their mother dated or what their father's all-time favorite songs were? I can't let that happen to you. This book is based on the premise that the more you know about your family members, the closer you all are; some things you say will be funny and others will just be revealing and thoughtful. I guarantee you. though, once you start picking questions and taking turns giving answers, you will want to keep playing – because there will be so many interesting things to think about or give your opinion about that you won't want to stop.

How to Play
Decide how long you are going to play. One turn apiece? That means everyone gets asked one question and then you stop- That seems too short, doesn't it? Well, maybe, three turns a piece? Half an hour? It's a personal decision, but you probably should get to ask and answer at least a few questions.

Once you decide how long you will play, decide the order in which you will go. Flip a coin to see who goes first, second, third, etc. Alternate between adults and children if possible. For example, a parent starts and picks a question for the kid who comes next and that kid asks a question of the next adult.

The person asking the question can pick any question out of his section of the book (parents ask parent questions, kids ash hid questions), but they have to pick it quickly – no pouring through the book for what could seem like hours! The person who answers can answer briefly – or take up to five minutes. Then the question is open for discussion to everyone – if anyone has more to say on the subject! People can take as long as they like unless you make a rule that no question gets more than a certain amount of time for group discussion.

This isn't hard – you are just taking turns and not letting anyone hog airtime. And all the rules are simple:

• You take your questions from the list that follows this introduction (even if you are a teenager and the word "hid" is a major insult – sorry!)
• No one interrupts anyone else.
• You (and anyone else) can only refuse to answer two questions during any game.
• Show no disrespect (grimacing, eye rolling, cutting remarks, etc). This one is a very hard rule for brothers and sisters to follow, but try.
• The person who asks the question gets to ask a follow-up question if it directly relates to the answer.
• Use sensitivity when choosing questions: if you know that a specific question is going to be upsetting because of some recent event or loss, skip it.

Remember, the point of this game is fun.

Start modestly the first time. Don't let the game go on so long that it gets tiresome. A half hour is a good amount of time to try first, see if that is too long or too short. Decide on a good place for your family to begin: in the living room, on a trip, or at the dinner table. Try alternating questions that are funny and ones that might be a little tough to answer because they are very personal. Be honest and remember (this is always hard to do) that parents are people, too, an< they don't want to be hit with a string of "hot questions" any more than you do.

What If...
...my parents criticize something I say. Tell them that they can't do that in this game. Criticism stifles conversation. If your three favorite foods are chocolate, popcorn, and Fritos, so be it! In this game, they have to respect that. Mow it is fair to ash if you are sure you want to choose those three to be the only things you would exist on forever. You might want to revise your choices ... but they are your choices and you have to remind each other that everyone has the right of his option in this game.

...I can't think of anything to say! This happens a lot less than you might imagine. But if it does happen, just ask for another question. It's no big deal, and you do want to talk about something that interests you. The question you shipped can be asked again some other time, and by then you may have thought about some way you'd like to answer it.

... / don't want to answer that question. Remember: Everyone gets to skip two questions. You don't have to give a reason why. Just say "Next question, please!" Mo one is supposed to pressure anyone. Remember this theme: This is supposed to be fun, and we all have to make sure that we keep it fun!

...I'd like to answer somebody else's question. You can get a chance to do that in the group discussion that follows that person's answer. The person who initially gets asked the question gets all the time he or she wants to think about it and talk about it. But after that everyone gets to join in. That's part of the fun. See what they say and then put your own contribute into the mix!

100 Questions for Kids to Ask Parents
1. When you were young, were you involved in any kind of political protests such as for the Civil Rights movement or against Vietnam? Why or why not?

2. What tells you when a child is responsible enough to trust a lot?

3. What was your first car? What was your favorite car when you were young?

4. How often do you go over the speed limit?

5. Were you considered popular in middle school or high school? Why or why not?

6. Did you have big fights with your mom when you were growing up? If so, what were they usually about?

7. Did you have big fights with your dad when you were growing up? If so, what were they usually about?

8. Did you ever get arrested for anything? If not, did you ever do anything you should have gotten in trouble for if anyone had found out?

9. What was your most important relationship in high school and why did it end?

10. If you could do any job in the world, besides the one you are doing now, what would it be?

11. What kinds of things get you angriest? Why?

12. When, if ever, do you think it's okay to tell a lie?

13. How old do you think you look? Why?

14. When did you have your first kiss? Who did you have it with? Did you like it?

15. How did you and Mom/Dad meet?

16. How old are you in your dreams? What are you doing?

17. What was your favorite pet when you were a kid?

18. Why did your parents give you your name?

19. What is your favorite joke? Why?

20. What was the best thing I ever gave you?

21. Who was your best friend in high school and what was the best thing about this person?

22. If you could afford any car in the world, what would it be?

23. Do you think you have any prejudices? What would they be?

24. If a friend of yours told you that he or she did something dishonest, would you report him or her to the police? Why or why not?

25. How important do you think it is to look really good?

26. What kinds of scenes in movies make you cry?

27. Is there any experience that you have not had that you regret not having?

28. What qualities do you most respect in a woman? In a man?

29. Do you think we should know details of political people's private lives, like the President of the United States?

30. Is it okay for someone who is twenty-two to marry someone who is forty or fifty? Why or why not?

31. How would people who knew you in middle school describe you then?

32. How would people who knew you in high school describe you?

33. How would you describe Dad/Mom the first time you saw him/her?

34. If there were a war against the United States, how would you feel about volunteering for duty?

35. What makes a good friend?

36. How do you tell when someone is lying?

37. What do you think is your worst bad habit?

38. Have you ever done something brave? If so, did you regret it?

39. What's the worst dream you can remember?

40. How many times have you been in love?

41. How much money does a person need to have a good life?

42. Did you ever wish you didn't have children? If so, what made you think that?

43. If you could do only one of the following, which do you think is the best use of money: being able to take family vacations, having a really nice home, or being able to send your children to a great college? Why?

44. Would you rather be famous, or make a lot of money? Why?

45. When you are really old, would you want to live with me, in a community for elderly people, or in your own place? Tell me why.

46. What is your opinion of nude scenes in movies?

47. Have you ever been hit? If so, tell me what happened.

48. What is the worst thing that your parents ever said to you?

49. Did you want a marriage like the one your parents had? Why or why not?

50. What makes you lose your temper with me?

51. What age group of kids do you think you are best with: babies, middle-school, or high school?

52. Over your lifetime there have been a lot of different kinds of music. What is your all-time favorite? Why?

53. What have you said to me that you wish you hadn't?

54. Did kids ever make fun of you for any reason? What do you remember best?

55. When you were younger, did you ever drink too much and get sick? If so, how did that happen?

56. Would you get upset if I wanted to live in another country when I was grown up? Why or why not?

57. There are two kinds of weddings: big fancy ones and small private ones. Which do you like?

58. Did you ever run away from home? If you did, why did you do it? If you didn't, did you ever think about it? Do you remember what the issue was?

59. What are your all-time favorite movies? Why?

60. What kinds of things make you sad?

61. If you could be any female sports star, who would you be?

62. Do you believe men and women ought to be equal partners, or should the man be in charge? Why? Did you and Mom/Dad talk about this before marriage?

63. Did you ever get jealous of someone?

64. Do you think people are born intelligent, or can they be made intelligent?

65. Would you admit to me if you were afraid of something?

66. Do you think there should be a death penalty for murder, or should the worst possible punishment be life in prison? Tell me why you have this opinion.

67. Do you think it is ok for a man to be the person who stays home with the kids instead of the woman? Why or why not?

68. Why do women shave their armpits and men don't?

69. If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?

70. What makes you like one of my friends? What would make you dislike one of my friends?

71. Have you ever thought of adopting a child? Why or why not?

72. What did you get in trouble for when you were a kid?

73. Did you ever have a teacher who picked on you?

74. What was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?

75. Is my personality the same now as it was when I was younger? Tell me how I am the same or different.

76. Why is it such a big deal for rooms to be clean?

77. Why do you care if I fight with my brothers or sisters or wrestle with my friends?

78. How often do you think you scream at me? Why do you think people scream?

79. How would you feel if I changed my first name? Last name?

80. What really gives you the creeps?

81. Did you like middle school? High school? Why or why not?

82. In what ways do you think you are similar to me?

83. In what ways do you think you are different from me?

84. What was your biggest disappointment when you were a kid?

85. What is the thing you wanted most that you haven't gotten?

86. If you could look like any movie star, who would it be? Why?

87. Who was the best teacher you ever had? And the worst? Why?

88. What toy did you want when you were a kid that you never got?

89. What were the three happiest moments in your life so far?

90. What things do we have now that you didn't have when you were growing up?

91. What hinds of things did your mom and dad do with you that you have tried to do differently with us?

92. Did you have a nickname in middle school or high school? If so, what was it and how did you get it?

93. When you were a kid, did you have a favorite hiding place? If you did, wh+B44ere was it and what did you do there?

94. When you were a kid, did you ever belong to a club? If you did, how many people became a member and what did you do together?

95. What special kinds of food did your mother give you when you we+B18re sick? Why did she give you those foods?

96. Why do some people think it's important for husbands and wives to have the same religion?

97. What makes a TV program good, or bad, for kids?

98. When you were young, did you collect anything? If you did, what was it and why did you get into that?

99. When you were in high school, what did you want to be when you grew up? What about in college? How did you come up with those ideas?

100. Who was more strict when you were growing up, your mother or father? How did you feel about that?