Pregnancy
Learning at Home
Question: I am having trouble getting my 3 1/2 year old to want to do anything having to do with learning at home. I don't mean home-schooling, I mean like coloring, working with numbers, playing with things other than my infant's rattles, etc..,
She seems to stand around and look for me to do things with her and having a three month old I just can't always be playing with her . She is perfectly capable of finding something constructive to do. She's not looking for attention....she has acted like this even before the baby was here. Also, should I feel guilty for telling her to play in the basement (it's finished) with her toys? I feel sometimes that I'm pushing her away and hope it doesn't have a negative effect on her. In other words, my child is lazy and how do I motivate her without breaking my back?
Answer: Don't assume your daughter isn't learning just because she doesn't seem interested in playing with all these great toys in the basement. She's learning a lot if you're always talking with her, reading to her, taking her outside in nature, letting her explore the outside, letting her physically have fun. Believe me, she is learning, and learning more than you could imagine at this stage.
What about inviting over some other children to play with her or having her go to someone else's house to play? What about seeing if there's a play group you can join? It's not unusual for a 3 1/2 year-old to want to be around her mommy and the new center of attention. Maybe you could involve her more in her big sister role and have her "help" you with things you have to do for the baby. It's also great if you can find some time (maybe the baby's naptime) when you do special activities with her. Just keep engaging her, she's not lazy, she's just not interested in some things you think she should be. Don't be so hard on yourself. Good luck.
More on: Expert Advice
Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.
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