Discipline with Dignity
Brought to FEN by the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development
by Richard Curwin and Allen Mendler
Now more than ever we must take a good look at what we are teaching our children by the way we treat them. Controlling their behavior is simply not enough. We must help them become decision makers and critical thinkers. We must help them feel that they can contribute to society, and we must enhance their joy for learning. ''Discipline with Dignity'' was written to achieve these goals.
School is a battleground for many teachers and students. Why is there so much contention?
Much has been written about discipline over the years, and many programs and methods have been tried and retried with new names. The issue will always be an integral part of school because students will always learn more than the content of the curriculum. They will learn about their behavior, their choices, and their impact on others. Instead of trying to solve the discipline problem, it might be wiser to try to positively affect the lives of children. We strongly advocate a model of discipline based on a positive value system and suggest many practical methods to implement such a system in the classroom.
There are many factors that contribute to discipline problems in school, including family instability, violence in society, confused values, lack of positive self-concepts, powerlessness, boredom, and unclear limits.
Still, schools can and do influence student behavior and achievement.
Discipline problems have existed as long as schools have existed. Any time a group of 25 to 30 people are in close proximity to each other for six hours every day, ten months of the year, a variety of interpersonal conflicts occur. Three-Dimensional Discipline offers many ways to help you take charge of such conflict. The three dimensions are:
- Prevention--what can be done to prevent problems
- Action--what can be done when misbehavior occurs to solve the problem without making it worse
- Resolution--what can be done for the out-of-control student
- Let students know what you need. To run the classroom, you must establish clear and specific guidelines that define rules and consequences for both you and your students.
- Provide instruction at levels that match the student's ability. If a student is acting out, assume that this is his defense against feeling like a failure because he cannot, or believes he cannot, handle the material. You may want to conduct some brief tests to determine academic level or have the child referred to educational specialists in your building for an assessment. If you are unable or unwilling to adapt your teaching style to lower or higher academic levels based upon the student's needs, then you are offering the student a valid excuse for acting out.
Just as expectations that are too high lead to frustration, those that are too low lead to boredom and the feeling that success is cheap and not worthy of effort. When we make learning too easy, students find little value in it and little pride in their achievements. It is important to increase the challenge without increasing the tedium. Higher-level thinking skills that require imagination, creativity, synthesis, and analysis are of higher value than increasing the number of boring questions.
Telling students that an assignment or school task is easy does not motivate them to try. In the long run, it discourages them from making a wasted effort.
- Listen to what students are thinking and feeling. There is probably no skill more important than active listening to defuse potentially troublesome situations. Students misbehave when they feel anxious, fearful, or angry. Teachers who learn how to identify with students who have negative feelings and who can convey understanding and empathy through reflective or active listening are usually able to short-circuit the cycle that leads to disruption.
- Use humor. You are not paid to be a comedian nor should you be expected to come to class prepared with an arsenal of jokes. But many frustrating situations can be lightened by learning how to poke fun at yourself and by avoiding defensiveness.
Make sure students are not the butt of your jokes. Lou, a seventh grade student, obviously intent upon hooking Mr. James into a power struggle, announced one day in class as he looked squarely at his teacher, "You smell like horseshit!" Mr. James responded by promptly lifting up each of his armpits, smelling them, and with a puzzled look saying, "That's strange. I took a shower this morning, put on dry deodorant and a fresh shirt, and came to school. I think I smell rather good!" The class laughed, and a tense moment had abated.
- Vary your style of presentation. Research has shown that older children have a maximum attention span of 15 minutes and younger children 10 minutes for any style of presentation. If you lecture for 15 minutes, it helps to have a discussion for the next interval. If you have a large-group discussion, switch to small groups. Continually using the same approach will create inattentiveness and restlessness, which may lead to disruption.
- Offer choices. Students should always be offered a choice and must be helped to see that the consequences are a result of their choices. For example, "You can do your assignment now or during recess." "You can borrow a pencil, buy one from me, or provide collateral." "You chose to fight and so you've chosen to go home for the remainder of the day." Coloroso suggests that the teacher offer the student "good luck" with his decision, recognizing that decisions are not easy to make, but that the student is responsible for the decision after the choices are offered.
- Refuse to accept excuses. Once there are sensible rules and consequences established in the classroom, all misbehavior is greeted with a specific consequence. If there is a fight, it makes no difference who started it. If a student is unprepared for class, it makes no difference that his homework was destroyed by the washing machine. In short, when you allow students to explain away their misbehavior, you place yourself in the uncomfortable position of being judge and jury. Students with good excuses learn that a good excuse will avoid trouble. Students with bad excuses learn that they need some practice in improving their excuse-making. Either way, accepting excuses teaches students how to be irresponsible. If you will accept legitimate excuses, they should be included as part of the rules and stated clearly before an incident occurs.
- Legitimize misbehavior that you cannot stop. If you have done everything humanly possible to stop a certain behavior and it continues, think of creative ways to legitimize it. If there are daily paper airplane flights buzzing past your ear, consider spending five minutes a day having paper airplane contests. If abusive language persists, ask the student to publicly define the word to ensure understanding. If your students like to complain chronically about one thing or another,have a gripe session or a gripe box in which students are encouraged to deposit their complaints. If your school has chronic disruptions in study hall, then offer a game-filled, nonacademic study hall in addition to one that is quiet for those who really want to study. When certain types of misbehavior are legitimized, the fun of acting out fizzles. And if the behavior continues, it will be easier on your nerves because you will no longer have to stop it.
- Use hugs and touching in communicating with kids (even junior high and high school kids). A pat on the back, touch on the shoulder or handshake can go a long way toward establishing bonds with kids. One of the biggest educational fallacies is the prohibition against using touch with older students because of sexual misunderstanding. If you are intentionally attempting to seduce a student, then don't touch! If you want to use touch only to communicate anger and to force compliance, don't touch! If you know of a student who has been physically abused, then exercise caution. If you want to communicate with human warmth, caring, and concern, words will take you only so far. Supplement your words with nonverbal displays of caring and concern.
- Be responsible for yourself and allow kids to take responsibility for themselves. You are responsible to come to class on time, present your subject in as interesting a fashion as you can, return papers with meaningful comments in a reasonable period of time, provide help for students having difficulty, and end class on time. You are not responsible to come prepared for the student, to judge the excuses a student gives, or to do his work for him.
- Realize and accept that you will not reach every kid. Some students, after all is said and done, must be allowed to choose failure because they are consistently telling you that they need more than you can give.
- Start fresh every day. What happened yesterday is finished. Today is a new day. Act accordingly.
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About the Authors
Richard Curwin is a professional teacher, consultant, seminar leader, and author based in San Francisco. His address is 236 West Portal, Box 436, San Francisco, California, 94127.
Allen Mendler is a school psychologist, teacher, educational consultant, and seminar leader based in Rochester, N.Y. His address is P.O. Box 20481, Rochester, N.Y. 14602.
