Original URL: http://life.familyeducation.com/eating-disorders/safety/36155.html

Scared to Eat

by Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW

Young children are at war with their bodies. They are frightened of food. Food will make them FAT! Preschool girls are telling their mothers they want to go on diets.

Elementary schoolchildren are counting the fat grams in their cafeteria food. Six-year-old children are being diagnosed as anorexic.

Eating disorders were once the domain of teenagers and collegiate women. These days, preteens and young children have joined the ranks of those obsessed with their bodies' size and shape. David Herzog, M.D., director of the Harvard Eating Disorders Center at Massachusetts General Hospital says, "We're seeing more kids under ten with eating disorders."

The seeds of future eating disorders can be planted at a very tender age. Eating disorders specialists warn us that the four-year-old who hates her fat body can easily become the nine-year-old who diets and then the eleven-year-old who suffers from anorexia. We're teaching little girls, and increasingly, little boys to be scared and embarrassed by anything other than a thin body.

Studies document alarming trends

• A Swansea University study revealed over a quarter of children between ages five to seven desired weight loss; one out of six was already dieting.

• A Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center study of 300 children found 29 percent of third grade boys and 39 percent of third grade girls had dieted. Sixty percent of sixth grade girls and 31 percent of sixth grade boys had tried losing weight.

• Ten to 15 years ago, studies showed that 80 percent of girls began dieting by age 14.

• A recent study of California girls found that 80 percent of nine year-old girls had already dieted.

Why so much younger?

What has caused children to fear getting fat at younger ages than past generations?

Experts cite the constant media barrage equating thinness with attractiveness and parents' obsessiveness with their own dieting, exercising, weight, and appearance. Kids hear their folks complain ashamedly that they "have to lose weight soon," and that they "can't stand being this fat."

Early warning signals

How can you tell if your child is becoming preoccupied and worried about her/his weight and body shape? Here are some early warning signs:

1. Constant talking about her/his body, usually in a negative manner.

2. Continually wearing oversize, heavy clothing and never revealing her/his body.

3. Eating very little and skipping meals.

4. Consistent weight loss.

5. Frequent, intensive exercising.

6. Always asking how much fat is in food.

7. Asking you to buy only non-fat, low fat, or diet foods.

8. Trying to look like the ultra-thin models in TV ads and magazines.

There are many ways parents can help their kids develop and maintain a healthy relationship with food and a positive opinion of their bodies. Here are some tips to help foster those healthy attitudes:

1. Are you constantly dieting and/or preoccupied with your weight and thinness? If so, you may be promoting negative attitudes about food and weight to your children. Work on your own weight and appearance issues.

2. Don't criticize your children's bodies. Even a well-meaning "you're a big boy but you could lose a few pounds," can devastate a young child's self-esteem.

3. Don't talk in front of your children about your dieting, your displeasure with your body, or the fat content of foods.

4. Stock a variety of healthy, appealing foods and snacks in your house. Don' be afraid to include some sweets.

5. Avoid eating lots of "diet foods."

6. Don't brush off your children's comments about their being fat.

7. Empathize with their worries while putting their concerns in perspective.

8. Don't put your kids on restricted diets unless it's a medical necessity.

9. Make exercise a fun family pastime. Explain to them that regular, moderate exercise will help make them fit and strong, not thin.

10. Limit TV time to a few favorite shows per week.

11. Compliment your kids often on attributes other than appearance, like their honesty, humor, and imagination.

Books:

Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher

The Secret Language of Eating Disorders: The Revolutionary New Approach to Curing Anorexia and Bulimia by Peggy Claude-Pierre

The Best Little Girl in the World by Steven Levenkron (fiction for young adults)

Surviving an Eating Disorder: New Perspectives and Strategies for Family and Friends by Michele Siegel, Judith Brisman, Margor Weinshel

The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls by Joan Jacobs Brumberg (not specifically about eating disorders, but a currently popular book about the relationship girls have with their bodies)