Basics for Nursing Mothers

Although nursing is a natural instinct for both mother and baby, it is not unusual to feel clumsy at first. If you are open-minded, your baby can actually teach you how to nurse without much prior knowledge on your part. Just put the baby's little mouth near your nipple and he or she will find a way.

Nature makes nursing very instinctual for both mother and child, so you don't really need too many instructions. But there are things you can do to make nursing a more comfortable and positive experience for both you and your baby. We'll take up a lot of the common issues and concerns of moms who are new to nursing, but first, here are a few helpful tips to keep in mind:

• Relax
• Find a comfortable chair (rockers do nicely) to nurse in
• If a little wine helps you relax, some doctors recommend it—but keep it to a small amount because what you drink, the baby drinks.

What If I Don't Have Enough Milk?

Some women do not produce enough milk flow to nurse successfully, while others seem capable of nursing 10 babies. If you're having trouble producing enough, sometimes drinking more fluids helps. Sometimes you just need time for your body to settle into this new trick it's learning to do, and as you and your baby establish a regular feeding schedule your milk will increase. But sometimes nothing seems to help. This does not mean that the woman who can't produce enough milk is a failure as a mother or that her child will be less advantaged than other children will be. Remember, it is good for a baby to be breast-fed but that is by no means the only way to go.

It is common for women to panic at the first signs of a problem with nursing. Most problems correct themselves quickly, so be patient. You will know if nursing is not for you. If you decide not to nurse, your doctor will give you some medicine to prevent your milk from coming in. If your milk has already come in and you decide not to nurse, you can just let the milk dry up on its own. You may feel a bit engorged at first but it will not take long for the hormones to note that baby is not utilizing the milk supply.

Whooo, This Feels Weird

The first time you nurse it will feel strange. When the baby clamps his or her mouth on the nipple it will cause the let-down reflex, when the milk fills the breasts in preparation for the feeding. It is good to have the baby nurse for only a limited time on one breast and then switch to the other. Otherwise your nipples can get sore and you will have uneven milk flow. Some women like to wear a diaper pin or other marker on their blouse or bra to indicate which side they used when they last nursed. That way they can remember to start on the other side the next time.

Still, no matter what you do, you're bound to have sore nipples. The skin is delicate and your baby's sucking reflex is very strong. But you don't have to let sore nipples cause you to give up on nursing too soon. Eventually they will toughen and nursing will not hurt a bit. It is worth taking the time to get past the initial discomfort. You can relieve some of the irritation with special creams made for lactating mothers. Hot compresses also work wonders. If you develop an infection, however, you may need medical intervention or you may wind up weaning your baby prematurely because breast-feeding is too painful for you. Further tips to avoid infection or pain: Make sure you keep the nipple area clean, and try to avoid engorgement.

You Are (and Produce) What You Eat

Watch what you eat when you are nursing. Do not forget that your nursing infant is essentially eating a predigested version of whatever you have eaten. If you want to give your baby major gas, just go ahead and eat that double chili dog or spicy burrito. On a more serious note, you must be extremely careful about which medicines you take. Do not take any over-the-counter medication without your doctor's approval, as it will pass to your baby through your breast milk.

Problems in Public

One of the issues of breast-feeding is the appropriate place to do it. I am a firm believer that it is appropriate to feed your baby discreetly wherever you happen to be when your baby is hungry. Demand feeding is the best thing for a breast-fed baby because their little bodies know how much they need and there is no real risk of overfeeding. So if the baby gives you a hunger cry (and you will learn to tell the difference between the baby's cries,) you will want to stop and feed her.

Now, I'm not advocating exhibitionism here, but society really should show far more respect and appreciation for nursing mothers. If you use good sense and cover yourself appropriately with a clean cloth diaper or receiving blanket, you should be able to do what you need to do when you need to do it. It is unfair for nursing mothers to be banished to dirty public restrooms because hypocritical people, who think nothing of half-naked models in billboards all over town and full frontal nudity in R-rated films, are offended by this most natural of human functions.

And, if you try, you can get pretty good at nursing discreetly. By the time I had my third child, I could nurse while I was walking around a store—with no one the wiser. It just takes some dexterity, practice, and a little bit of nerve. Just remember that there is nothing more precious than a mother feeding her child.

So get out into the world and demand the respect you deserve. Act as though it is the most natural thing in the world, and most people won't even notice you. Many places are more child-friendly than they used to be. Check out whether there is a lounge or a quiet corner with a chair if you are more comfortable being out of the way when you nurse.

Clothing Choices

While you are lactating you will feel most comfortable wearing a nursing bra with nursing pads. Your nursing bra will be much larger than your prepregnancy (or even pregnancy-size) bra. Your back size increases, making most of whatever you were wearing uncomfortable. You can sometimes get bra extensions in case you outgrow your nursing bras. They are little pieces of material with hooks that fit right onto your bra. Milk takes up a lot of room.

Milk-filled breasts leak. Isn't this dignified? Well, maybe not—but it is a fact of life. You have to look at the bright side. I may not have had a waist after childbirth, and I may have leaked a little milk every once in a while, but I looked voluptuous. Never in my life had I had such a well-endowed chest. Even I was impressed.

So what's a little spillage when you've got a figure like Sophia Loren? If you wear nursing pads with your bra and change them frequently you should feel more comfortable—and you'll stay relatively dry. Nursing pads are round cotton pads that fit into your bra and absorb the leakage from your nipples. If you don't wear them you might be out at your typical baby-feeding time and notice two huge wet spots where your breasts used to be.

Some women may even need to double their pads if they are prone to an easy let-down reflex. Your body is so programmed with instinct that your milk may well come in if you even think about your baby or if you see or hear someone else's baby.

By the way, there are nursing shields made from materials other than cotton. I had some reusable nursing shields made out of plastic. They fit around the nipple and caught the leakage. It was actually kind of weird when I got to see the amount of milk that had accumulated. They also made my already enlarged udders look like a cross between Madonna's gold-cone breasts and Dolly Parton's.

Express Yourself

If you go back to work while you are still nursing—or if your lifestyle requires you to be away from your baby during one or more of her feeding times—you can express some of your milk during the day so that your breasts don't become engorged. If you are able to master the art of using a breast pump, you can do well with it.

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Motherhood © 1999 by Deborah Levine Herman. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book click here or call 1-800-253-6476.