Strategies for Feeding 2- and 3-Year-Olds

by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., author of Feeding: The Brazelton Way

• Set up the feeding situation as a time for the child to be in control as much as possible. This means that eating with others who will be likely to tell the child what to do is not a good choice.
• A toddler may need to be fed alone—not isolated, but fed at a time and place where food and his choices are not the focus.
• If your child seems distracted when you sit down to be with him during his meals, do your own chores around the kitchen to take pressure off him while he eats.
• When he becomes ready for it (around age 2 or so) sit down with the child while he eats, as long as food is not the subject. You and others who won't comment on his eating can keep him company so that he can learn to look forward to mealtimes as a time to enjoy being together.
• Use a child-safe booster seat, securely fastened.
• Use a sippie cup, and don't fill it too much. Expect spills.
• The child's bowl should be anchored by suction to his tray.
• Don't make special foods for him if you will be disappointed when he refuses them or plays with them.
• Plan to give him more nourishing foods first, while he is most likely to be hungry: protein—containing foods (such as meat, cheese, and eggs), fruits or vegetables, and sips of milk from his cup. Whole-grain bread or crackers, or pasta, which are also important, are often more appealing to young children, so offer them later. Save sweets for dessert.
• Continue to offer only two bits of food at a time, then two more, until he begins to drop them or throw them.
• Don't expect him to chew his foods. You may find hunks in his stool. Don't worry. He'll absorb what he needs.
• Don't expect him to be excited by new or different foods. Children at this age are often put off by new foods. Instead, they'll find ways to make the "same old" foods seem interesting to them.
• "Manners" come later—at ages 4 and 5, but not now. Messiness is to be expected.
• Blowing food or throwing it is a pastime. Be prepared and decide ahead of time about the limits you'll set. Then, without excitement, say, "That's the end of the meal" and put him down.
• Ignore his requests for grazing between meals. This will be the hardest if he hasn't eaten "enough." Relax about a "balanced diet" if the child is healthy and growing. Over time, if struggles over food have been avoided, children will eat what they need—as long as it is offered to them.
• Punch some pillows or call a friend if you need to work off some frustration. Parents need each others' support at times like these.

Excerpted from:

Excerpted from Feeding: The Brazelton Way © 2004 by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua D. Sparrow, M.D. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Perseus.

To order this book click here or call 1-800-253-6476.