Are My Daughter's Negative Emotions Normal?
Daughters, make sure that you have your maternal introject under control. This isn't something your mom can do for you. You have reached an age of maturity that demands you turn on and off that voice of hers that rings in your head when you feel it is appropriate!
There is a whole series of emotions that daughters can expect to have when it comes to their moms. They won't seem nearly as overwhelming when daughters and moms accept that they are part of the normal course of things. You can expect to…
- Feel ambivalent toward your mom—there are moments she is your best friend and other moments when you don't want to pick up the phone to talk to her.
- Feel despair when you don't think you are able to please your mom.
- Feel angry, even betrayed, if your mom fails to nurture you when you feel you need it.
- Experience anger because your mom isn't perfect, and won't always understand you and give you what you need.
- Feel sad if your relationship with your mother doesn't make you happy.
However, these emotions do come with a warning label. For instance, if you are so angry or sad that you emotionally distance yourself from your mother and are unable to show her love, you have gone beyond the limits of normal emotions.
Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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