How Mothers Can Be Role Models for Their Daughters

What you must reconcile yourself to is the fact that you cannot be a perfect mom. Do the best that you can and enjoy your daughter.

Remember how fortunate you are to have your daughter. Frances, an 83-year-old mother from North Port, Florida, believes that an aunt had spoken the truth to her when she said years ago, "You haven't lived until you have a daughter." At the time Frances was the mother of a son and didn't conceive her second child, a daughter, until eleven years later.

Remember you aren't the only influence in your daughter's life. There are plenty of others. Even the famed Dr. Spock admitted later in his life that we can't be entirely certain how or why a child turns out like he or she does. Susan Jeffers—psychologist, parent, and author—notes a long and varied list of contributing factors that influence an individual during their growth years. They encompass what she calls a "child's circle of being." The circle includes such things as the following:

• Genetic makeup
• Circumstances of delivery and birth
• Number of siblings
• Presence of grandparents
• Finances
• Friends
• School experiences
• General health
• Physical attributes
• Cultural surroundings
• Choice of food, books, and music
• Intelligence
• Personality
• Geographic location
• Religion
• Societal customs

Remember you are there to guide your daughter to develop her best potential for happiness and self-sufficiency. You can do that by being a sounding board, supporter, and a friend. You must show her that you are consistently in her corner. And you must respect and discipline her in a way that establishes fair and realistic expectations.

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

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