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What's Going on Inside Your Daughter's Adolescent Head?
A lot! Here's where the surprises come into the picture. Your adolescent is groping for connectedness and individuality, not separation! Apter's revolutionary study found that your daughter isn't trying to break away from you as was previously thought. The essentials of her theory are of inordinate importance to adolescent moms and have been widely accepted by other experts. The key concepts are…
- Separation is more accurately expressed as autonomy, and autonomy does not necessarily include rejection.
- A girl going through adolescence does not look for attributes that distinguish her from her mother.
- Even in adolescence, a daughter is continuously bound to her mother by love, gender, and feeling.
- A daughter going through adolescence fights for survival of her new self and particularly wants her mother to see and love her for who she is.
- Validation from Mom is all the more important because of the natural connection between a mother and her daughter.
- Adolescent girls see themselves in relationship to others. They want to stay connected to friends, family, and Mom, and to fulfill the demands placed upon them.
Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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