Back to School at FamilyEducation.com
Home > Mom's Life > Family Relationships > Parent/Child Relationships > The Health of Your Mother-Daughter Connection
|

The Health of Your Mother-Daughter Connection

Building Blocks

Individuation is taking full responsibility for one's adult self and actions; it means shifting from being mothered to mothering one's self.

Remember that the mother-daughter relationship is not a static one. The health of your attachment fluctuates over time and with circumstances. However, it is safe to say that you can discern an overall pattern that distinguishes the vast majority of your interactions and enables you to more closely align yourself with one of the patterns below.

Marilyn Irwin Boynton and Mary Dell, authors of Goodbye to Mother Hello Woman (New Harbinger Publication, Inc., 1995), have divided mother and daughter connections into five categories that form a continuum of behaviors-not iron clad boxes. An adapted version of their classifications of "connections" appears in the diagram.

Note that those individuals who replace the word "attachment" with "connection" are making a very important distinction. Attachment infers dependency. Connection allows more for a position of self in a relationship. It implies a mutual understanding and acceptance of differences and preferences, according to Rose R. Oliver, Ph.D., professor of psychology and women and gender studies at Amherst College.

|

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit Amazon's web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


Lunch Box
Love Notes

Create your own specially
designed lunch box note!

GO

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

get ready for school!

We’ve got your
shopping list,
lunch menu,
and more.

GO

highlights

Design Your Own Lunch Box Love Note
Pack a little extra love in your child's lunch with a custom-designed love note! Use our Lunch Box Love Note Creator to create your one-of-a-kind message. Brought to you by Del Monte.

Printable Fall Fun To-Do List
Celebrate the cooler weather with this printable checklist of fun fall activities for your whole family.

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

Top 10 Care Package Items for College Students
Show your college student that you love and miss her by mailing a care package full of dorm room essentials and comforting treats. Whether it's her birthday, exam time, or just because, get care package ideas to brighten her day.

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!