Home > Mom's Life > Family Relationships > Parent/Child Relationships > The Health of Your Mother-Daughter Connection
|

The Health of Your Mother-Daughter Connection

Building Blocks

Individuation is taking full responsibility for one's adult self and actions; it means shifting from being mothered to mothering one's self.

Remember that the mother-daughter relationship is not a static one. The health of your attachment fluctuates over time and with circumstances. However, it is safe to say that you can discern an overall pattern that distinguishes the vast majority of your interactions and enables you to more closely align yourself with one of the patterns below.

Marilyn Irwin Boynton and Mary Dell, authors of Goodbye to Mother Hello Woman (New Harbinger Publication, Inc., 1995), have divided mother and daughter connections into five categories that form a continuum of behaviors-not iron clad boxes. An adapted version of their classifications of "connections" appears in the diagram.

Note that those individuals who replace the word "attachment" with "connection" are making a very important distinction. Attachment infers dependency. Connection allows more for a position of self in a relationship. It implies a mutual understanding and acceptance of differences and preferences, according to Rose R. Oliver, Ph.D., professor of psychology and women and gender studies at Amherst College.

|

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit Amazon's web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


highlights

8 Quick Tips for Curbing Your Family's Screen Time
Setting limits on screen time — and remembering to put down our own devices — is one of the biggest parenting challenges of our time. Use this guide to create healthy screen-time rules for your whole family.

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!

10 Best Beach-Themed Crafts and Activities
Sand, seashells, and stones can provide hours of family fun. Check out the greatest beach-related activities and crafts for toddlers on up.

Registered for Kindergarten — Now What?
Try our award-winning Kindergarten Readiness app! This easy-to-use checklist comes with games and activities to help your child build essential skills for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Facebook icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks