Determining the Best Way to Approach Your Daughter

Moms need to be up front and approach their daughters if they are concerned about a new newfound friendship group or boyfriend. The trick is in how you say it. One slip of the tongue and these kids won't listen to a thing you have to say.

To keep the lines of communication open, follow these tips from the educator:

• Listen without being judgmental.
• Maybe share something from your past that may be similar.
• Get your daughter to talk about her feelings, especially if she feels she doesn't fit in.
• Use a neutral subject like a movie to open the door to a conversation, and then, ask her how she thinks the girl in the film felt and ask if that ever happened in her school.
• Make her see that she can be understood.
• Tell her, "I think you are making the wrong choice here but I will love and support you no matter what."

If the last point is particularly pertinent to your situation, a lesson in values may be in order.

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

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