Uncovering Grandma's Many Talents

There is no doubt that a mother's love for her daughter's little one, whether boy or girl, is a reflection of her love for her daughter, adds to a daughter's feelings of acceptance, and is deeply gratifying for both women. But that is just the tip of the iceberg!

Grandma's Unique Mixture

A grandmother is a unique blend of essential and nonessential elements. She…

• Enriches her grandchild's life with love, affection, support, and a connection to a family history.
• Is a playful companion, baby-sitter, friend, and confidante.
• Can act as an intermediary between mother and daughter during difficult times.
• Can give guidance and advice that sometimes parents are not able to.
• Has the luxury of spoiling a child without dealing with the consequences.
• Is often a role model and a figure of female power.
• Is able to experience the sheer delight of her grandchildren and provide unequivocal acceptance because she is not responsible for them.
• May have to assume a parent's role by proxy or fulfill emotional and security needs in her granddaughter's life.
• Can be more concerned about the grandchild's individual needs because there is not that same concern expressed by parents that their children's behavior reflects upon them.
• Has fewer expectations of her grandchildren than their mother, which makes it easier for the grandkids to feel fully accepted and experience less pressure.
• Is able to see and evaluate things more clearly.

Proximity, economic considerations, health factors, a daughter and her mother's marital status, and personality traits often determine which of the above roles a grandmother plays in her granddaughter's life. However, as statistics prove, many more grandmothers today are finding themselves fitting into the role as primary caregiver.

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

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