Do's and Don'ts as You Help Your Child Learn to Think (30 Months and Up)

• Do rely on jointly creating elaborate pretend dramas that have logical, interconnected plots. For example, tea parties and school scenes and trips to Grandma's can all be woven together.
• Do rely on enjoyable debates about everything from food and clothes choices to sharing toys.
• Don't simply tell your child what to do; explain why you want to do something. Discuss the pros and cons, and give your child plenty of time to argue her viewpoint. A good rule of thumb is that if your child's answers don't frequently surprise you, or if you have a single correct answer in mind, you are probably overscripting.
• Do rely on reflective discussions. When your child wants something, don't simply say yes or no. Instead, ask "What/when/why/how... ?" In this way, you'll help your child give an opinion and reflect on her own wishes—the foundation for abstract thinking.
• Do carry out these activities in peer, sibling, and small play groups. Children can debate each other or make funny pictures.
• Don't solve problems for your child; let her solve them herself. Your role is to help her brainstorm or to offer any needed encouragement.
• Do create experiences involving quantity, time, and space concepts that engage your child's strong feelings of the moment.
• Do expose your child to a rich range of activities and encourage her natural interests and abilities. All these experiences will strengthen her ability to think abstractly.
• Do enjoy stories, reading, puzzles, and other traditional activities as part of a vibrant back-and-forth discussion.
• Do enjoy helping your child use words to describe all the different feelings of life, from anger to closeness. Discuss feelings during both pretend play and reality-based conversations.

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Excerpted from:

Copyright © 1999 by Stanley I. Greenspan. Excerpted from Building Healthy Minds: The Six Experiences That Create Intelligence And Emotional Growth In Babies And Young Children with permission of its publisher, Perseus Books Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

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