Create a Loving Relationship with Your Baby

Sensing your baby

As you and your baby spend more and more time in loving interaction, you'll start to notice the particular ways she expresses her love and interest in you. Perhaps your baby prefers to use her visual sense, and keeps her eyes glued to your face as you woo her. Maybe you've noticed that she seems to like bright colors, but doesn't particularly like to look in your eyes. If so, she may enjoy playing a game in which you put a purple spoon in your mouth. It would be surprising if that sight didn't pull her eyes right to your face with an accompanying look of delight.

Does your baby readily turn toward the sound of your voice? Does she respond to a wide range of sounds, from high to low pitches? If she's more attentive to high-pitched noises, see if using a Minnie Mouse voice will entice her. On the other hand, use a lower tone if that seems to bring her more pleasure.

Notice whether your baby uses a variety of motor gestures. Does she reach for your hand with hers? Does she use her head and neck muscles to turn toward you when you speak to her? Try to position yourself so that your baby's physical efforts will result in face-to-face contact with you. Does she readily swivel her head to follow you as you leave the room? Try swooping to the right or left, or bouncing up and down as you exit. She'll enjoy watching you and will orient her body toward you at the same time.

After you start focusing on your baby's own special features, her unique physical profile will become more apparent. You'll be making a mental checklist of which senses she uses most easily and with the greatest flexibility. The key here is to tune in to your baby's individual profile by tailoring your overtures to her strengths.

Use your shared love and your baby's obvious pleasure in using at least some of her senses as the starting point. You can then orchestrate some games that will introduce other senses or movements into your interactions. Help your baby use many of her emerging skills together, just as an orchestra conductor helps weave all the various musical sections into a seamless symphonic sound.

Let's assume that your six-month-old has shown you in many ways that she's soaking up the world through her eyes. They shine with delight each time she catches sight of you. Even the talking heads on the television screen seem to capture her interest. Connecting with her visually is easy, and you've already intuitively come up with many silly-face games that bring you both pleasure.

Next, try to mobilize all of her senses to work together. Remember that our brains can absorb information from many sources at the same time, and your baby can simultaneously look, listen, move, and feel. In fact, it is the ability to exercise all of these systems at the same time that really strengthens and organizes your child's nervous system. If you continue to encourage this ability as your baby develops, you will be helping her improve her capacity for intellectual, social, and emotional functioning enormously.

Gradually introduce some interesting sounds into your face-to-face play together. You will then be playing to your baby's visual strengths while giving her extra practice in a sensory area that she uses less. You might make funny noises each time you alter your facial expression, building from a simple rhythm to a more complex one as the game continues. In addition, observe whether varying the range of sounds from soft to loud affects your baby's pleasure. Your baby may only tolerate softer noises, like muffled claps, initially.

Next, woo your baby into continuing this pleasurable interaction by appealing to her delight in movement. As you rhythmically clap and scrunch up your face into silly new expressions, slowly move around your baby in a half circle. Watch her move her legs and arms in an attempt to follow the sights and sounds you're offering her. You're inspiring your child to use her seeing, listening, and motor skills all together in a manner that will stretch her not only physically, but also emotionally and intellectually.

Try to help your baby take even more initiative. As she moves into the second half of the first year, you may notice her wanting to do such things as holding her bottle or a toy more independently. Admire her initiative and build interactions around it, such as commenting on a particular toy she's reaching toward. See if you can be so appealing that she moves in rhythm with you and woos you with funny faces, sounds, and arm and leg movements of her own.

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