The Mother-Baby Relationship: Essentials of Early Interaction

Synchrony and Symmetry

As the parent-infant dialogue develops in these early months, individual differences from one family to the next will become more and more apparent. It is possible, however, to identify several characteristics of any successful relationship during this period. Both clinicians and investigators have found the following concepts valuable in evaluating early interaction.

Synchrony
An immature organism is at the mercy of autonomic requirements for cardiac and respiratory balance. As we have shown, in order to learn how to pay attention to outside stimuli, the infant must become able to regulate various physiological systems. Once a nurturing adult recognizes, intuitively or consciously, this regulatory system, she can help the baby learn how to turn his or her attention on and off. The first step for the adult is to adapt her behavior to the baby's own rhythms. An adult must also find techniques to help the baby reduce or control motor responses that might interfere with the ability to pay attention. By learning the baby's "language," as reflected by autonomic, state, motor, and attentional behaviors, parents can synchronize their own states of attention and inattention to the baby's. They can help the baby pay attention and then prolong this attention within their interaction. In the achievement of synchrony, parents take the first step.

Engaged in the synchronous communication, the infant can learn about the parent as a reliable and responsive being, and start contributing to the dialogue. Through synchrony, the parents, in turn, experience their own competence. In our clinical work, we have found that synchronous attention and withdrawal can be demonstrated and modeled for parents. When they achieve it for themselves, the most insecure parents can feel a sense of control, over their baby's vulnerability and over their own (Brazelton & Yogman, 1986).¹

Symmetry
Symmetry between adult and baby in an interaction is of course not the same as equivalence. Not only are babies more dependent, but they are more at the mercy of being shaped by an adult. The adult interactant is always more likely to initiate communication, as well as to choose the mode in which communication will occur. Symmetry in an interaction means that infants' capacities for attention, their style, their preferences for both intake and response influence the interaction. In a symmetric dialogue, a parent respects an infant's thresholds. Hence, each member is involved in achieving and maintaining synchrony. In our investigations, we have consistently seen that in successful interaction each member is making a major contribution and an active one. The parent, to be sure, is responsible for this symmetry. A parent must be both selfless and selfish-selfless in being able to see the baby's side, and selfish in desiring feedback from the baby. The parent must be ready to give up a part of herself in the quest for the baby's rhythms and responses.

The importance of recognizing the specific contribution of each member of the dyad will be apparent in Part V. If we, as clinicians, want to assess and help failing pairs, we must be able to help the parent change her role to fit the individuality of her infant. This may require "adultomorphizing" the infant's contribution, translating the dialogue for the parent. The baby's modes of communication, the thresholds beyond which a baby may withdraw, and the behavioral responses that mark them can be spelled out to help a parent understand how to reach her particular infant.

¹Parke, R. "Fathers." In M. Yogman and T. B. Brazelton (eds.), In Support of Families. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1986.

More on: Babies and Toddlers