Send First Grader Back to Kindergarten?
Question: My daughter just entered first grade this year and she is an "early" six. She had a slow start in kindergarten last year and eventually did well last year. Now she is in first grade and has spent the first three days in school crying and insisting that the teacher help her. Now the crying has stopped and she has some trouble with her alphabet. The teacher wants to send her back to kindergarten. What puzzles me is that she was able to work on first- grade computer programs this summer and first-grade workbooks without any problems at all. I really don't want to send her back to kindergarten because I understand that some form of regression might occur.
Answer: The teacher's recommendation of demotion to kindergarten after only a few days in first grade is irresponsible, unprofessional, and not in the overall best interests of your daughter. She may be a child who takes some time to adjust to new situations and then, slowly but surely, gains confidence and competence, as she did in kindergarten. Her responses to first grade are perfectly normal - this step is a major adjustment.
Rather than deem her unfit for first grade based upon this short period of initial adjustment, the teacher should attempt to meet with you, brainstorm what approaches might ease her anxieties, and implement these approaches in an encouraging, supportive manner. If this teacher is resistant to this collaboration, I suggest that you schedule a meeting with the principal and a guidance counselor to discuss this situation and possibly a change of teachers. Your daughter does not have to and should not suffer emotional stress and disappointment because a teacher will not accept the challenge of helping her adjust.
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Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.
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