Home > Mom's Life > Family Finances > Family Budgets > Money Can Be an Emotional Issue
|

Money Can Be an Emotional Issue

Mary and Joe always fought about money. Mary tried to save every penny that she could. She would spend many hours clipping coupons for the grocery store each week, and she would never order dessert or beverages at a restaurant. Mary grew up in a household where there was never enough money, and now she wanted as much money in the bank as possible. Joe, on the other hand, loved to eat lunch out several times a week, including dessert and coffee. The freedom to eat out meant a lot to him, and not being able to do so would cause him to feel resentful. Joe grew up in a solid middle-class household that had enough money for extra activities. Before Mary and Joe can sit down to do a household budget they can both live with, they need to understand their emotions about money.

The same is true for you and your spouse. When you sit down with your spouse to do your household budget, keep in mind that money issues can become emotional very quickly. Disagreements about money are often not about money, but about something else, such as power and control.

Soul Mates

When you and your spouse are having a disagreement about money, take a moment to understand your emotions and explain them to your partner. He or she will probably be more receptive to your point of view.

Think Twice

Don't let managing your finances become a back-burner project. So many couples let petty annoyances fester until they become major problems. Take the time now to make a financial plan with your spouse.

Realistic Expectations

We all grew up with expectations about our adult life. We had ideas about what kind of house we wanted, where we wanted to travel, and how much we wanted to work. Sometimes, we are lucky and most of our financial expectations are met. But many people's expectations far exceed their financial assets, and they become frustrated when they cannot have what they have always wanted.

There are so many reasons why your financial situation might be different than the two of you expected. One of you might have been laid off, a business might have failed, or you might have made a bad investment. Perhaps you had visions of marrying a millionaire, and instead fell in love with a pauper. It's so easy to blame our spouse or ourselves and constantly wish that there were more money in the household. But, unless you can realistically change your financial situation, you need to face up to your expectations for what they are—expectations, not reality. The sooner you learn to be content with what you have, the sooner you will find true happiness.

Take this quiz to find out if your monetary expectations are realistic.

|

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Marriage © 2001 by Hilary Rich and Helaina Laks Kravitz, M.D. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit the Idiot's Guide web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

jack-o'-lantern creator

Design and print
your own
jack-o’-
lanterns!

GO

highlights

12 Pumpkin Activities and Crafts for Kids
Pumpkins and gourds are perfect for fall fun and games with the kids. Find the best pumpkin activities, crafts, printables, and recipes to enjoy with your children this Halloween season.

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

15 Best Slow Cooker Meals
Too busy to cook? Try one of these deliciously easy slow cooker meals and have dinner waiting when you get home!

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!