Deciding Whether to Move
Don't decide to move without thinking it through carefully. Being in a new place will affect many aspects of both of your lives.
If you're like most couples, the decision of whether or not to move is a tough one. There are so many factors to consider. If both of you work, you would each need to find a new job. Maybe you would be moving closer to family and friends or maybe you would be leaving them. Your economic situation might be better or worse in a new locale. If you have children, you have their education to consider as well.
Usually, if you're thinking about moving, something is prompting you. In most cases, work is the motivating factor. You might have been offered a promotion in a new city, or your current job is being moved to a new place. Or you might be looking for a different lifestyle: a change in climate, cost of living, or city size. The important thing is to think the decision through very carefully. It's a major life change.
The following questions will help you to consider your reasons for moving.
What is your main reason for moving? Is it a preference or a necessity?
Will both of you be able to find satisfactory jobs in the new city?
Will there be a change in your economic status in the new place? You need to consider cost of housing and living as well as your salary.
Will you be leaving friends and family who are important to you? Do you think you will be able to reorganize support in the new place?
Will your leaving have an impact on other people (i.e., family members who rely on your practical and/or emotional support)?
Can you anticipate hidden costs to living in the new place (i.e., higher telephone bills or transportation costs)?
- Will the climate be better or worse in the new place? Is this important to you?
Will the new locale be a city that is similar in size or much different (i.e., a much bigger city or a rural area)?
Do you have special needs as a couple that can be met in the new place (i.e., place of worship, medical needs, etc.)?
If you have children, are you satisfied with the schools where you would be moving?
We hope your answers to these questions will encourage you to consider issues you might have overlooked.
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Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Marriage © 2001 by Hilary Rich and Helaina Laks Kravitz, M.D. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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