Finding Time to Be a Wife
Don't forget to treat your body well! Consider a manicure, pedicure, or massage to give yourself a boost and help you feel attractive. Often these simple things can be very helpful in getting your healthy body image back. You haven't lost it forever; it's just hidden.
Yes, there is a life after baby. You can successfully be a mother and a wife, though some fine tuning may be necessary. Priorities shift, free time shrinks, spontaneity issues arise, and generally, life is different with a baby. It will take some effort on both your and your husband's part to make your relationship work with a new baby in the house.
It can be really tough to feel sexy as a new mother. This may have nothing to do with your sex life; it is more connected to how you feel about your body. Giving birth changes how you feel about your body. You may feel very powerful and lovely after giving birth, or you might feel tired, run down, and out of shape. These are all normal variations.
How you feel about your body may be very different from how your husband feels about your body. If you feel negative about your body, don't keep repeating it out loud for others to hear. They may think you look great. The constant repetition will convince them they are wrong. Just remember sexy is more a state of mind than a physical state of being.
Company parties or picnics do not count as date nights, nor does any other occasion where you are surrounded by people who desire your attention. This time is meant for you and your husband alone. Do whatever it takes to get this time to yourselves, whether it be hiring a babysitter or asking a family member to come pick up the baby for a while.
Date nights are simply times you carve out of your hectic life to be alone with your husband. This is a foreign concept to most postpartum families. However, it is a necessity to help you continue to strengthen your relationship with your husband.
Dates do not have to happen at night, or even on the weekend. A date for you and your husband can simply consist of a few uninterrupted hours together. You can sit and talk over a quiet dinner out or curl up on your couch to watch television. This is not the time to do laundry or even answer the phone.
You may choose a time when your baby is sleeping to reconnect with your husband. This option does not require that you hire help for the baby, but if the baby wakes up, this will certainly distract you from your date. Do whatever you can to limit distractions during these intimate times.
From The Everything Mother's First Year Book Copyright © 2005, F+W Publications, Inc. Used by permission of Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company. All rights reserved.
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