Reigniting Passion

It Wasn't Always Like This

Many people get married because they say they have fun together. After they are married for a while, they realize they got married for more valuable reasons: shared values and shared commitment.

It's very common for married couples to get caught up in the day-to-day grind. There are bills to pay, schedules to arrange, and chores to do. It seems like a waste of energy to plan fun activities with your spouse. It's easy to assume he or she will be around to grab a bite to eat or to see a movie with you. Creating special “date time” together makes us feel like we're just adding one more thing to our never ending to-do list.

Think Twice

Don't be passive! You have the power to bring passion into your relationship. It's not something that happens to you; it's something that you do.

There are many reasons to make a date with your spouse. First of all, because it's fun. Everyone deserves to have fun and a break from routines. Second, doing enjoyable things together gives you energy to tackle your responsibilities. And last, every time you do something fun with your spouse, you strengthen your relationship.


Close your eyes and think back to your first date with your spouse. Were you excited? Did you have butterflies in your stomach? What were you wearing? What was your spouse wearing? Did you go to a nice dinner and get to know each other? At the end of the evening, did you make plans to get together again? Did you talk about the date with any of your friends?

Once you think about it, you can remember really enjoying going out with your spouse. You looked forward to seeing him or her and talking on the telephone to-together. Where did all of that fun and excitement go? You can get back the excitement of your first date. How? Read on.

Soul Mates

Every once in a while be sure to take out your photo albums and review them together. You'll have a great evening ahead of you. This is valuable for reinforcing the bonds you have.

Good Fun Takes Good Planning

What made those first months of dating so much fun? Both of you put a lot of time and energy into the date. You chose an outfit with special care. Sometimes you bought tickets to a special event or ate dinner in a romantic restaurant. You were thoughtful of the other person and presented yourself at your best. You practiced good dating etiquette.

Bring back those skills. All of these things are important even after being married. The forethought as well as the adoring attitude you brought to your dates then can be re-created. The atmosphere of specialness and excitement made them so much fun!

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Marriage © 2001 by Hilary Rich and Helaina Laks Kravitz, M.D. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit the Idiot's Guide web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


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