|

Anger and Forgiveness

There's an old saying that the best part about fighting is making up. We think there is some truth in this. Think about whether you become angry very quickly or whether it takes a lot to make you angry. Now think about whether you forgive slowly or quickly.

  Quick to anger and slow to forgive

  Quick to anger and quick to forgive

  Slow to anger and slow to forgive

  Slow to anger and quick to forgive

Which of the above boxes best describes you?

  • Quick to anger. Some people get angry more quickly than others. They are often described as “having a quick temper.” Large things as well as small things can make them angry quickly. It's much better to be slow to anger and not let small things bother you. If you're quick to anger, ask yourself when you become angry if your anger is justified. Slow yourself down by taking a deep breath or going for a walk. Remember, your goal is to be slow to anger.
Soul Mates

Apologizing fully to your spouse involves three steps. Step 1: Admit to yourself that you did something wrong. Step 2: Say “I'm sorry” to your spouse. Step 3: Do your best to avoid repeating your mistake.

  • Slow to forgive. Some people forgive quickly, while others tend to hold grudges. When someone apologizes to you, do you forgive and forget, or do you tend to remain angry for a while? It's very important to be able to forgive someone and move on. If you are slow to forgive, ask yourself what your anger is really buying you. Would you be willing to give some of it up for a better marriage?
  • Slow to anger, quick to forgive. This should be your goal. Always keep in mind that you want to get angry as little as possible and forgive as often as possible. These are character traits that will both improve you as a person and strengthen your marriage. A relationship between two people who are slow to anger and quick to forgive will be an extraordinary one.

Every time you make up with your spouse, you renew your commitment to the relationship. Many important things are implied. You're saying that you accept his or her apology and forgive him or her. You're also accepting that your spouse isn't perfect and showing that you want to move forward.

|

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Marriage © 2001 by Hilary Rich and Helaina Laks Kravitz, M.D. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit the Idiot's Guide web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

get ready for school!

We’ve got your
shopping list,
lunch menu,
and more.

GO

highlights

Join BIC on our mission to save handwriting and Fight For Your Write! Writing helps kids become better readers, boosts their confidence and sparks their creativity. Visit BICFightForYourWrite.com to sign our petition to save handwriting!

7 Fun Driveway and Sidewalk Games for Kids
Looking for classic outdoor games kids can play in the driveway or on the sidewalk, just like the good ol' days? From hopscotch to bubble-blowing contests, there's something for all ages!

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

Best Sun Safety Practices for Babies
Follow these sun safety practices for babies to ensure your little one stays safe on the beach and on sunny days all year long.