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How Work Can Affect Your Marriage

Although you usually develop your relationship and your career separately, we all know through experience that they are connected. The quality of your love life will affect your work. If you're feeling stressed about your relationship, you will be on edge at work and will be less productive. If you're feeling great about your partner, you will sail through your day at work.

The opposite is also true. How your work is going will affect your relationship. This shouldn't be surprising because most people spend more time at work than they spend awake with their spouse! If you are happy with your work, that will enhance your relationship. You will probably be in a good mood when you get home. You will be relatively relaxed and will have an enjoyable evening with your spouse. On the other hand, if your job is sheer drudgery, you will probably be stressed when you get home from work. You might spend your evening in a bad mood and complain about work.

How's Work?

Some people are lucky enough to really enjoy their work and would do it even if they made no money or a lot less money. But the main reason most people work is to earn a salary. That doesn't mean you need to be miserable at work. You can like your job and still be doing it because it pays a salary.

The first step toward maximizing what you get from your job is asking yourself the following questions:

Soul Mates

If your spouse is miserable at work, this will have a definite impact on your relationship. Be supportive if he or she wants to change jobs. Even if it's a rough time temporarily, you will both be happier in the long run.

  1. Do you generally like your job?
  2. Do you dread going to work in the morning?
  3. Are you treated well at work by co-workers and by your boss?
  4. Are you paid a reasonable amount of money for the sort of work you do?
  5. Do you feel completely drained at the end of the day?
  6. Are you working more hours than you can handle?
  7. Does your job keep you on the path to where you want to be five years from now?
  8. If you are unhappy at your workplace, do you think that doing similar work at another place would potentially make you happier?
  9. If you are unhappy at work, have you ever considered making a complete career change?
  10. Do you feel that your spouse would be supportive if you changed jobs or careers?

Consider your answers to these questions. If you are reasonably satisfied with your work, great! If not, make sure you consider whether there are ways you can improve your current job. For instance, can you change or shorten your hours, shift your job description, or work for a different boss? If your current job is so miserable that you don't think it could ever be reasonable, is it possible for you to find a better job?


Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Marriage © 2001 by Hilary Rich and Helaina Laks Kravitz, M.D. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit the Idiot's Guide web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


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