Dealing with Other Mothers
Being a mother can be great fun. But every now and then you run across a mom who makes your head spin. The lady doesn't know when to quit. Often, these women are insecure in their own situations and that's why they give you such grief. These moms who drive you nuts might fall into a few basic categories.
The Know-It-All Mom
This mom needs no introduction. She knows everything. At first it may seem like a great relationship. You ask a question and she has an answer. You probably even look up to her. But eventually you realize that in her answers it's her way or the highway. If you don't follow her advice to the letter, you may have to answer questions from her about why not. Or perhaps you didn't even ask her opinion and just went out on your own. How dare you! Now you'll get an earful.
Know-It-All Mom has an answer for everything. She can quote to you from every manual and every pediatric association on what to do when. The problem is that there is no room for flexibility. Babies need flexibility.
Follow your gut instincts. Be your own person and do what is right for your baby, even if it goes against Know-It-All Mom's advice. You and your baby will be just fine.
While you can't completely ignore Know-It-All Mom, just smile and nod as she doles out advice. Stay strong in your convictions. Take what advice you can use and toss the rest.
The Superwoman Mom
Superwoman Mom is a hard act to follow. She may work, have a spotless house, and have a spotless car all while caring for her immaculate baby. (She and baby probably wear matching clothes too.) Even though this woman is not out to get you, you may feel that way. She probably doesn't say anything to you about being Superwoman Mom. She doesn't have to say a word. You feel inadequate simply by being near her.
You don't invite her over because you have cookie crumbs on the floor and dirty laundry stacked higher than the book shelves. You wince when you notice the baby stains on your clothes and the specs of dirt on your baby so microscopic you need to look to see them. But you know she notices.
The truth is Superwoman Mom doesn't notice. She's too wrapped up in making her life spic-and-span to notice anyone else. She's also not out to get you or out to make you feel guilty. She's just a bit of a perfectionist and absolutely harmless, once you get over how you feel when you see her.
Mother of the Perfect Baby
The Mother of the Perfect Baby is probably the hardest person to get along with. No matter what your baby does or doesn't do, it simply isn't a match for her perfect tyke. Her baby is bigger, smarter, faster, and can speak six languages before he is three months old. You'll find this mother lurks nearly everywhere. She reels you in with chitchat about your baby. She will compliment you on your baby and then pull you in when you innocently return the compliment for her baby.
These mothers are hard to ignore. They demand attention. Sometimes the best method for dealing with them is a direct method. Simply tell them you and your child are going to go play elsewhere with the normal babies. Don't get bent out of shape over the ordeal.
More on: Adjusting to New Motherhood
From The Everything Mother's First Year Book Copyright © 2005, F+W Publications, Inc. Used by permission of Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company. All rights reserved.
To order this book go to Amazon.