The 'Happy Together' Mother

The ESFJ mother has a highly developed sense of family and what it takes to be happy in life. Capable and personally invested, she strives to create a happy family where togetherness and harmony flourish. Whether it's taking her children to the park or putting on a holiday feast, her efforts are directed toward having everyone be "happy together."

To many, the ESFJ personifies motherhood. She promotes traditional values, tends to the practical and domestic, provides the family with order and structure, and is directly involved with her children's day-to-day living. The ESFJ mother is a "doer," and she's never happier than when she's "doing" for her family.

Believing the home is central to family life, the ESFJ mother excels at creating an atmosphere that is attractive and offers security.

Energetic and people-oriented, she is drawn to community and the social scene. She helps her children discover the joys of people and groups.

• Cultivating close relationships with her children. The ESFJ mother is devoted to taking care of her children's needs, physical and emotional. She is especially sensitive to their feelings, offering personal warmth, comfort, and plenty of "I love yous."
• Making people connections with the larger world. Sociable and friendly, the ESFJ mother provides her children with opportunities and activities to connect with community and friends as well as family, often serving as the family's "social director."
• Sharing practical wisdom. The ESFJ mother wants her children to know how to get along in the world. She values what is "appropriate" and teaches her children the right things to do and say in a wide variety of situations.
• Providing a home base. The ESFJ mother creates a home atmosphere that can serve as an anchor in the storm for her children. Home to her is also the place for informal gatherings and special events, such as family birthdays and holidays. A gracious hostess, she extends the warmth and hospitality of her home to family and friends.

• Family disharmony. The ESFJ mother gladly puts forth effort to orchestrate good times for the whole family together. She can feel frustrated, annoyed, and hurt, however, when family members are fighting, someone is hurt, or some don't want to participate.
• Judgment and control. The ESFJ mother has a good idea of what she wants for her child, and she worries when her child chooses a path different from the one she has envisioned. She may struggle to understand and accept a child who is different, finding it difficult to back off and let go.
• Perfectionism. In an effort to get everything done right and on time, the ESFJ mother is prone to over-functioning. The stress may lead her to nit-pick or over-focus on details to make everything perfect.

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