Back to School at FamilyEducation.com
Home > Mom's Life > Family Relationships > Parent/Child Relationships > Recognizing the Intrusive Mom
|

Recognizing the Intrusive Mom

Building Blocks

To be intrusive is to intrude or to force oneself or one's opinion where it is not wanted, invited, or welcome.

Not only can an intrusive mom be a pain, but also she breeds ill will and harmful qualities in her daughters. Intrusive moms…

A Bird's-Eye-View of the Cycle of Intrusion

So what's so bad about these moms you may ask? Nothing if you are strong enough not to pay attention or be affected by their intrusiveness. However, that is not always easily accomplished. Rose R. Oliver, Ph.D., professor of psychology and women and gender studies at Amherst College, describes a cycle that is put into motion by the intrusive mom. This diagram shows how it goes.

The Effects of Intrusive Mothering

One only need look at the general traits associated with daughters who have been raised by intrusive mothers to understand the damage. Daughters who have lived with intrusive moms often tend to…

  • Regularly defer their own interests to those of others.
  • Experience feelings of vulnerability.
  • Rely on the judgments of others rather than their own.
  • Be uneasy with disagreement.
  • Require the opinions of others to formulate their own ideas.
  • Need approval to feel secure.
  • Feel as if they are being judged.

It is clear from this list of traits how intrusive moms could rob their daughters of autonomy. Without autonomy, the mother-daughter relationship is in trouble.

|

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit Amazon's web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

get ready for school!

We’ve got your
shopping list,
lunch menu,
and more.

GO

highlights

Handwriting Headquarters
We've got handwriting practice worksheets, handwriting tips, and answers to your child's writing struggles, just in time for back to school. Brought to you by BIC.

11 Coolest Lunch Boxes for Kids
Send your child's lunch to school in style! Check out our picks for the 11 best lunch boxes with great features from BPA-free accessories to spill-resistant fabric.

7 Important Back-to-School Safety Tips
Follow these back-to-school safety tips to make sure your child stays safe on the way to school, in the classroom, and while on the playground.

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

Join BIC on our mission to save handwriting and Fight For Your Write! Writing helps kids become better readers, boosts their confidence and sparks their creativity. Visit BICFightForYourWrite.com to sign our petition to save handwriting!