|

Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

Adopting a Second Child

Toddler and Teenager Expert Advice from Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW

Q: I have a four-year-old adopted daughter and am considering adopting a little girl from China. The ages available are broad: from age three months and up. What are the most important concerns with regard to listing a preferred age to encourage acceptance, interaction, and long-term adjustment with my daughter?

A: Don't be concerned about the age of another child that you bring into your family. Your adopted daughter has had enough time with you to feel a deep sense of belonging and of being loved. Instead of focusing on age difference, think seriously about your desire, willingness, and ability to parent an infant as opposed to a toddler, preschooler, or school-aged child.

My guess is that your well-adjusted daughter will go through all the normal responses of any child who now has to share her parent with another child. Your daughter certainly should be told about your intentions to adopt, in a manner appropriate for her stage of development. Any reputable adoption agency should be able to provide you with advice and resources to help you present this information to your daughter. I would also recommend that you ask the adoption agency for the names of other adoptive parents who have adopted two or more children. They might provide the best resources for you both before and after you adopt your second child. I wish you well.

More on: Expert Advice

Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.


Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

highlights

Teens and E-Cigarettes: 6 Things You Must Know
For the first time in a generation, tobacco use has risen among the nation's youth, due to the rising use of e-cigarettes. Learn more about the dangerous and addictive e-cigarette trend, and get tips to talk to your teen.

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, brought to you by Galactic Hot Dogs.

Printable Lists of the Top 100 Baby Names
Need help with baby name ideas? Use our printable list of the top 100 girl names and top 100 boy names of 2015 to help you brainstorm and narrow down your favorites.

Registered for Kindergarten — Now What?
Wondering what to do now that you've signed your child up for kindergarten? Try our award-winning Kindergarten Readiness app! This easy-to-use checklist comes with games and activities to help your child build essential skills for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Facebook icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks