|

Choose Your Response to Offense

If you live long enough you will encounter tactless people, ungrateful bosses, or insensitive family members. Your choice is to react defensively from a place of fear, hurt, and anger, or respond deliberately from your center of power.

  • Express yourself. Tell the offender how her behavior or statement affected you, using a constructive "I message" that includes impact, offending behavior, and your request. For example, "I was so embarrassed when you told the group how I messed up. In the future I'd prefer you let me share my own mistakes."
  • Forgive the offense silently. Chalk the offense up to human error, remembering two things: you are not so different from the offender since you probably have caused someone similar distress at some point in your life, and the person may not have had malicious intent, just a lack of skill or insight. Try forgiving both the offender and yourself.
  • Decide not to take offense in the first place. Realize the comment or action has little to do with you and much more to do with the other person's needs. Try a little empathy.
Offense can be found everywhere or nowhere, depending on who's doing the looking. Make it a practice to always assume positive intent.
|

A series of "quick-lifts" excerpted from Recharge in Minutes, ©2003, by Suzanne Zoglio, Ph.D.

Buy on Amazon


stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

thanksgiving crafts & recipes

Make this Turkey
Day fun for the
whole family with
these essentials.

GO

highlights

3 Fun Thanksgiving Games for Kids
Looking for some great Thanksgiving games to play with your kids? Print our free Pin the Feathers on the Turkey game, Pin the Hat on the Pilgrim game, and Thanksgiving Parade Bingo game for loads of laughs this Turkey Day!

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

Top Family Movies in Theaters for the Holidays
Taking the kids to the movies is a special family treat for the holidays! Don't miss 2014's best family films in theaters from Thanksgiving through Christmas.

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!