Anger Management: Understanding Your Temperament
4. Intensity
How strong are your emotional reactions?
| other people often don't know how you feel other people describe you as calm experience you are not easily triggered by the intensity of others not easily frustrated | experience every emotino deeply and powerfully others try to convince you to let go of an emotion easily triggered by the intensity of others easily frustrated | |||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| mild reactions | intense reactions |
Intense individuals parent with gusto! You are passionate and zestful, and everything you do is done with intensity. Your child is loved deeply. When you've hit your limit it's clear – you yell loudly. And there's no stopping you when you're on a role. You get a lot done!
You realize you've always had strong reactions and because of that you have to work harder not to get triggered. Preventive actions are essential. Regular exercise, frequent breaks, and calming activities need to be part of your day in order to help you manage those strong reactions. Monitor your stress level and your child's because when she gets upset, she can fuel your emotions as well. Because you are intense, your child may never know when you're going to "blow." Remembering to pause helps you to continue listening to your child rather than shutting down or striking out.
If you're not an intense individual, you have a much easier time keeping your cool. It takes a lot to get you going. You tend to be calm. Your challenge is to let your child know you are excited about, happy for, or proud of him. Your demeanor may also be so calm that he doesn't realize when you are angry or really serious about a limit. You have to remember to be passionate about your standards!
From the book KIDS, PARENTS, AND POWER STRUGGLES: Winning for a Lifetime by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, published by HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. Copyright © 2000 by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. All rights reserved.
Buy the book at www.harpercollins.com.
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