New Moms and Dads: Parenting Together

This is a remarkable time as you begin to share the joys and responsibilities of parenting with your partner. It may also be a time of wonder and concern for both of you as new parents. You may have many concerns. As a mother, you probably want to be the best mother ever. Your partner has many concerns of his own; he wants to be the best father he can be. And he may wonder what his role as a parent will be. You both may have many other questions, including those below.

• Will I be a good parent?
• Will my partner be a good parent?
• Will he or she support me and help me with the very important task of parenting?
• How will he or she help me with the baby?
• What can I do to help him or her be the best parent possible?

Help Your Partner Begin to Parent
(For the New Mother)
Before a man becomes a father, much of whom he is is defined by his work. After his first child is born, that often changes—he is now a father—and that role becomes part of how he defines himself. Encourage and help your partner in his transition to fatherhood. One way your partner can become fully involved with his new baby is for you to help him prepare for the task.

You can begin this preparation before baby's birth. Childbirth classes and other prenatal preparation classes introduce dads-to-be to many aspects of childcare and parenting.

Encourage your partner to take time off after your baby's birth. He may have to arrange this leave of absence ahead of time, so plan for it before the baby is born. It's great if your partner can stay home for a full week after the baby is born, but in many cases this may not be possible. As a new father, he may be able to make arrangements to spend more time with you and your baby. It allows him time to get to know his baby and to feel comfortable in his new role as a parent.

Even if you are breastfeeding, try to share feeding responsibilities. Expressing your milk for your partner to feed the baby can help them draw closer together; it can also provide a respite for you. If your partner wants to give the baby a bottle of expressed breast milk during the night, it allows you a longer period of uninterrupted sleep. You might really enjoy (and need) the sleep in the first few weeks of motherhood.

Divide tasks in the most logical way you can. If you need to rest before you start dinner, maybe dad can tend baby for an hour to give you a break. Then you can prepare dinner when you have more energy.

Trust your partner in his ability to care for your baby. Allow him the opportunity to be a good parent. Don't stand over him and correct him as he does everything. He'll probably make some mistakes, but babies are pretty resilient. Your baby may be able to handle mistakes more easily than you can. Giving your partner the space to develop his own parenting style helps him become more confident as a parent.