What Are Your Child's Preferences?

Extraversion-Introversion

If your child is eight years or older, I encourage you to explain the concepts of personality type and ask for his or her input. Approach type as an opportunity to get to know your child better, and you will likely to gain his or her interest and cooperation. If your child is younger, use the basic personality descriptions to help you guess your child's personality type. As you read through the descriptions of each dichotomy, keep a tally of your thoughts by writing your best guess of your child's type in the chart below.

Best-Guess of Your Child's Type
Names	E or I	S or N	T or F	J or P
1.______________	___	___	___	___
2.______________	___	___	___	___
3.______________	___	___	___	___

Extraversion-Introversion

Does your child burst in the door after school full of news? Or does she enter quietly, respond to questions with a simple yes or no, and head for her room?

Many Extaverted children say that until they've told someone about the events of the day, those events haven't really happened. One mother described her Extraverted child as a chatterbox with never an unspoken thought. Introverted children say they need to be alone for a while after school to recharge. After being with peers, teachers, and other caregivers all day, they don't want another conversation with mom. They might not feel like talking again until dinner or bedtime.

Extraverted children prefer to be with others rather than be alone. They may enjoy group projects and doing homework with friends. A special birthday party might involve hosting the whole class for games, music, balloons, and clowns.

Introverted children are apt to spend their time playing alone or reading by themselves, even at an early age. Their idea of a special birthday party might be to invite just one friend for pizza, a movie, and a sleepover.

When I volunteered in my children's classroom, I found some children wildly waved their hands to be called on before I'd finished asking my question and others averted their eyes hoping to be overlooked. Extraverts are comfortable speaking while they are still forming their thoughts. Introverted children may appreciate a few moments to gather their thoughts before participating.

One mother says, "When we pulled into our driveway after a two-week family vacation, my Extraverted son immediately ran down the street to see what was happening with his buddies. He was bored relating to the same four people. My Introverted son went to his room and shut the door. Doing everything as a foursome for two weeks had deprived him of the privacy he needs." Some people confuse Introversion with shyness. Keep in mind, according to psychologist Jerome Kagan of Harvard University, "Shy people are more likely to be Introverts, but Introverts are not all shy."

One more caveat: When children turn into teenagers identifying their preferences may be a little confusing. Some mothers report that their Extraverted children start acting like Introverts at home, retreating to their rooms for privacy. Others are surprised to see their Introverted children spending so much time with peers. Adolescence is a time for your teen to begin separating from you and experimenting with new identities.

More on: Parenting Personality Styles