Feeling Parent-Thinking Child

Feeling parents often describe a Thinking child as not being cuddly or chummy enough and say they feel rejected or attacked from time to time. "I go to give her a big hug and she backs away," says a Feeling mother.

Feeling parents sometimes misinterpret their Thinking child's emotional distance and objectivity as lack of caring or love. From the Thinking child's perspective, Feeling parents can be intrusive, asking too many personal questions and initiating conversations about feelings. Young Thinkers also say Feeling parents are overly involved and protective, not giving them the room they need to challenge and practice self-reliance.

Sensitivity is another issue. Says one Thinking teenager, "I try to make a joke, tease him, or argue a point. But Dad takes it personally. I don't mean to hurt his feelings, but he's overly sensitive about everything."

On the plus side, Thinking children say that when they're mad or sad, Feeling parents seem to care. "My mother gives me the opportunity to talk about how I feel," says a Thinking teen. "By communicating my feelings, I'm better able to manage them."

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