Judging Parent-Perceiving Child

Judging parents often find Perceiving children exasperating: "I ask her to do a job and she gets sidetracked by something more interesting." "His room looks like a cyclone hit it." "She waits until the last minute to do homework." "He could be Number One in his class if he'd only apply himself."

Judging parents worry that their Perceiving child will not find her way in the world. They may try to "make" their young Perceiver more focused, more responsible, more organized, and more considerate. The result can be a power struggle between a parent trying to control and a child bent on resisting control and proving her way is fine.

From the child's point of view, a Judging parent's emphasis on structure, planning, and order is superfluous. The Perceiver doesn't need it to feel secure and may in fact feel confined, limited, and unaccepted.

One Perceiving adult says, "As a child, I liked having a messy room and an easygoing relationship with my things. My piles were my friends. My parents never understood, but they were kind enough to shut my bedroom door and forget about it."

On the plus side, Perceiving children say they appreciate knowing what it takes to survive in a Judging world and having been "pushed" to develop many of those skills.

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