Perceiving Parent-Judging Child

When Perceiving parents raise a Judging child, they often feel put upon to make structure and plans when they don't feel the need. "My son wakes up each morning asking what's the plan for the day, and I don't have one yet," says a Perceiving mom

Perceiving parents sometimes question what's wrong with a child so focused on boundaries and control. "Sure, I bought the boombox for my daughter to play CDs in her room. But I wish she'd lighten up and be more gracious about sharing when she comes home and finds me listening to it while I fix her dinner."

A Perceiver's casual approach can leave a Judging child feeling insecure and uncared for. He often wonders, "Is anyone in charge here? Or do I have to make the order and plans…" Sometimes a Judging child will try to organize a Perceiving parent by making to-do lists to be completed while he is at school or saying an activity begins 15 minutes earlier than it does to be on time.

One Judging mother says, "When I was a child I had no bedtimes or curfews. I could do pretty much what I wanted. I doubted whether my parents really cared. If a friend called to make plans, I'd pretend to ask my parents if it was okay."

On the positive side, Judging children say they appreciate growing up knowing how to balance life. Driven to get their work done, they know there's always fun to be had and that work can sometimes wait.

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