|

Respect Your Children and Yourself

It's a Good Idea!

The fact that children are little, seemingly-irrational, and inexperienced shouldn't be held against them. Children should be held against you—gently.

It's a Good Idea!

Respect your child's challenges! Children test you to see how far they can go. It's not that they want total freedom, rather they want to know what the limits are. Setting reasonable (and respectful) limits for them will enable them to set their own limits as they grow older.

Element number two of the Twelve Disciplinary Elements is to respect your children and yourself. Positive discipline is based on mutual respect. Assume that children are basically reasonable human beings who want to do well, and treat them with the respect they deserve. Kids learn by imitation, and just demonstrating respectful behavior will take you a long way. The basic rule is: You get what you give. Sound familiar? Some call it the Golden Rule, and some call it karma, but the idea is the same: Treat your child as you would like to be treated and your child (eventually and usually) will treat you that way back.

How do you show respect for your child? By discussing her feelings and beliefs and acknowledging that they are valid—for her. By helping her improve her critical thinking skills and empathy by discussing other people's perspectives on the same issues. By respecting who she is, and the integrity of her body. By starting with the child, and moving forward from there. You don't show respect when you agree with everything she says or by letting her make all her own choices or decisions. Look, kids don't always know what's right for them. They're kids, after all.

You show respect for your child when you:

  • respect her feelings;
  • respect her opinions;
  • respect her privacy;
  • respect her temperament; and
  • respect her body and personal space.
|

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Well-Behaved Child © 1999 by Ericka Lutz. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit Amazon's web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

get ready for school!

We’ve got your
shopping list,
lunch menu,
and more.

GO

highlights

Join BIC on our mission to save handwriting and Fight For Your Write! Writing helps kids become better readers, boosts their confidence and sparks their creativity. Visit BICFightForYourWrite.com to sign our petition to save handwriting!

7 Tips for Reading Aloud to Babies & Toddlers
The AAP advises reading aloud to babies and toddlers because it boosts brain power and has many other benefits. Get some tips for making the most of story time with your tot!

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

How to Survive Summer Boredom
When the kids are home all day, every day, summer boredom strikes hard and fast. Learn the best summer boredom busters and tips for surviving until September.

12 Birthday Party Favors that Won't Get Thrown Away
The next time you're planning a birthday, forgo the penny candy and cheap toys. Send your guests home with one of these fun and creative party favor ideas!