Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

Teacher-Student Problems

Toddler and Teenager Expert Advice from Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW

Q: I am a teacher at the school my daughter attends. She has a problem with one of her teachers. She does not have any problems with any of her other teachers. She feels this teacher picks on her. I have had a conference with this teacher though I have not talked to her about my daughter's problem. She is always nice to me and says that my child is no problem in class. What should I do? Should I take a chance and be specific and should I yell at my child to make light of it?

A: This problem can rear its head at any time, as long as you remain a teacher in your daughter's school. So I think you should have a plan in place that best serves the needs of both your daughter and you. This current "problem teacher" may feel as uncomfortable as you in discussing your daughter, unless there was a problem that could not be ignored.

I believe the core issue is whether your daughter feels she needs you to advocate for her in this particular situation. If she looks to you to help her with a situation she feels she cannot handle alone and you turn her down because you are uncomfortable talking with a fellow teacher, then a message is sent; the message is that your being a teacher in her school makes you feel uncomfortable about talking with any of her teachers whom she has a problem with. I am most concerned by the larger issue that this particular situation raises.

Let's face it, there are always going to be issues like this that surface for you and your daughter. You and she need to come to an understanding about what she and you can expect from each other when these situations arise. Good luck. I'm sure you'll reach a satisfactory decision.

More on: Expert Advice

Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.

Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks


3 Fun Thanksgiving Games for Kids
Looking for some great Thanksgiving games to play with your kids? Print our free Pin the Feathers on the Turkey game, Pin the Hat on the Pilgrim game, and Thanksgiving Parade Bingo game for loads of laughs this Turkey Day!

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

8 Surprising Sources of Caffeine in Kids' Foods
Even low doses of caffeine can have an effect on your child's health. Since the FDA doesn't require caffeine content on food labels, learn about hidden sources of caffeine in kids' diets.

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!