Extraversion-Introversion: Energy, Initiative, Focus, Connection
Extraverted mother, Introverted father
Sarah and Jim are the parents of four. Sarah says, "As two NTs, we share a vision of raising the children, but we express it differently.
"For example, we both want our kids exposed to cultural events. As the Extravert I'm the one who initiates the plans and takes them to the events. Jim doesn't always participate. I'm more engaged and actively involved with the children. But Jim will bring home an unexpected gift that's just right, and I know we've been in his thoughts.
Extraversion-Introversion Differences and Marital Satisfaction
Extraverts need adult interaction and activity to recharge and unwind at the end of a day. Introverts crave solitude. These opposite needs may be accentuated if the E is isolated at home with small children and the I interacts with lots of people at work. Conflicts may arise if the Extraverted spouse expects more conversation and socializing than their Introverted partners are able to give. Extraverts might do well to get out with friends and leave their spouses at home every once in a while to better balance each other's needs. Or here's how one couple arrived at a compromise: "I'm an Introvert and an artist; my husband is an Extravert and a salesman. On weekends he wants to go out and I like to stay home. Art shows helped us find middle ground. He's happy being with the people, I'm content browsing the artwork."
"Knowing type has helped me understand Jim's Introversion and not interpret it as rejection or not caring. I know we are present and important in his inner world, even though he may not show his caring like I would.
Introverted mother, Extraverted father
Mike says, "Sue is more of a homebody. She may share more intimate moments with our two boys, but I get them out and about.
"In addition to my job as a salesman, I coach both softball teams and have season tickets to basketball games at the local university. I also initiate father-son camping weekends with my friends. Sue's happy when we go—she gets the house to herself."
Extraverted mother, Extraverted father
Meg struggled over Extraversion-Introversion differences with her first husband, an INTP, and the father of her two daughters. "Curt was good at understanding our kids' needs for privacy and silence. But I felt there weren't enough people in our lives. Curt found all-family outings, birthdays, and holidays over stimulating."
Now Meg is married to John. "We are both busy and on the go. We both understand everyone's need for friendships, and we want all four of our kids to enjoy an active social life. We're willing to ask the family to sacrifice on behalf of friends.
"Sometimes all the busyness gets out of hand. It's hard to say no to friends, work, volunteer commitments, and other external demands. Usually one of us starts to feel resentful because we haven't had enough time together as a couple or as a family."
Introverted mother, Introverted father
Julie and Scott have two teenagers. Julie says, "As Introverts, we provide a quiet, calm haven where any of us can retreat after a busy day at school or on the job. We give each person plenty of space to do his or her own thing. But it's easy to begin to feel out of touch with each other. When we do, we purposefully schedule a family outing just to do something all together."
More on: Parenting Personality Styles
Excerpted from:
Excerpted from Motherstyles : Using Personality Types to Learn to Parent from Your Strengths © 2006 by Penley and Associates, Inc. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Perseus.
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