Judging-Perceiving: Rules, Routines, Fun, Flexibility

Perceiving mother, Judging father

"Lou wants things done, and he wants them done a certain way," says Raquel. "I prefer to start projects and keep them open, following my inspirations. To compromise, we've come to this motto: 'Done is better than perfect.'"

Judging mother, Perceiving father

Kate says, "Max does fun really well, whether it's bike rides, ball games, or outings. He takes care of all the gear needed and has fun interacting with the kids. While they're playing, I'm free to get a lot done.

"We've all come to accept the fact that Max starts a lot of projects and doesn't finish them according to our timetable. At first the kids felt let down. Now they factor his style into their requests. In fact, I'm beginning to admire his way of doing things for as long as he feels like it, and no more."

Judging mother, Judging father

"With two Js for parents, our kids know how things work in our house—the rules, consequences, routines," says Bess. "Harry and I like order, and we're consistent in setting limits and providing structure. Our way of doing bedtimes, getting ready for school, or celebrating birthdays and holidays is almost ritualized. We're especially sensitive to the stress transitions cause and work hard to keep the children in a familiar routine even when we travel."

"On the downside," adds Christine, "neither Peter nor I is good at making spontaneous fun. Sometimes I realize the weekend is over and we've taken care of all our chores, but we haven't had one ounce of fun together as a family."

Perceiving mother, Perceiving father

"A household run by two Ps is different," says Jack. "Sue, the kids, and I have lots of freedom. People have said our spontaneous lifestyle seems out of control and stressful, but we love it.

"On the other hand, sometimes we lose track of time and forget things like soccer practice or getting the recycling out in time for pick-up."

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