Life with Your Newborn
You've looked forward for months to welcoming your new baby into your life. It's exciting to bond together and become a family. However, during your first days and weeks at home, you may begin to wonder if all your baby will ever do is eat, sleep and wet or mess in her pants. You may wonder if she will ever get on any type of schedule.Let your baby develop her own schedule. You'll be able to make changes as your baby grows and develops. You may find your baby needs a lot of sleep. It's normal for a baby to get day and night mixed up for a while. Take heart—this doesn't usually last longer than a few weeks. If possible, keep baby awake and active during the day. It may help her get on a better sleep schedule.
In the first 4 weeks of life, your baby may sleep as many as 20 hours a day. You may wonder if she will ever be awake long enough for you to get to know her. She may only be awake long enough to feed, change and bathe her. Cuddle and bond during these times, too. Each day she will become more aware of you and her surroundings.
Babies eat quite often in the first few months of life, whether they are breastfed or bottlefed. A baby can eat every 2 to 4 hours. When your baby is quite young, feed her when she's hungry. Denying your baby food when she's hungry can cause her to become anxious. If you breastfeed, note each time you breastfeed and for how long. If you bottlefeed, note when your baby eats and how much she consumes. This is important information to share with your pediatrician on your baby's first visit.
It's surprising to find out how often a baby needs to be changed! You may need as many as 100 diapers a week for your newborn. A baby wets her diaper every 2 to 4 hours; the number of bowel movements varies from one baby to the next. If you breastfeed, your baby may have a bowel movement only once every couple of days; this is normal. If you bottlefeed, your baby may have as many as six bowel movements a day, usually following a feeding. This, too, is normal. Change your baby's diaper as soon as possible. Babies have very delicate skin, and wet diapers can lead to diaper rash. If baby has diaper rash, a wet diaper can make it worse. And it hurts!
It's also normal for baby to cry. A baby cries to make her wants known—she has no other way of communicating with you. Some babies cry more than others. You'll soon learn to distinguish different cries in your baby. You'll be able to tell a "hungry cry" from a "lonely cry" or a "bored cry." It just takes time and practice. Until you learn what different cries mean, check the baby's diaper, burp her again and be sure she isn't uncomfortable. Sometimes your baby just wants to be held and loved by you.
Babies cry! Plan ahead—decide whom you can call to talk to or to ask for help and support when your beautiful baby won't stop crying!
Beginning Life with Your Baby
Your baby is a precious creation—you must handle her with care. Your newborn lacks muscle control, so you'll need to take precautions to make sure you hold her correctly. It also helps to hold your baby in the correct positions because she tends to startle at sudden changes. Holding her correctly can avoid injury and yelps of fright. Try the following:
- Always keep your hand behind baby's head when you lift her or hold her at your shoulder.
- When carrying her in your arms, her head will probably extend beyond your elbow—be careful not to bump her head against the doorway or wall.
- Lift your baby slowly.
- Don't rush when you carry her.
- Don't move your baby too quickly.
Keep your home temperature comfortable, and dress baby appropriately. It's unnecessary to keep your home "tropical." As a matter of fact, it could be detrimental for everyone in the family if you do this. Generally, 68F(20C) to 70F(21C) is a good range. Don't assume baby is cold just because her hands and feet are. The best indicator is your baby's mood. If you can't comfort your baby by holding or feeding her, she may be too hot or too cold.
When you do take your baby out, dress her appropriately. Keep her out of the wind and the sun, too. Layers work best—add one more layer than you have on or add a light blanket. Babies lose heat through their hands, feet and scalp, so be sure all three areas are well covered in cold weather.
While sunscreens can work wonders for you, don't use them on a baby younger than 6 months. They can be very irritating to delicate skin. Put a hat and protective clothing on baby for even a brief outing in the sun, especially in very hot, sunny areas.
You don't have to walk on tiptoes around your little one. It's just not practical. Usual household noises won't harm baby; being exposed to them will make her less sensitive to them. She'll have an easier time sleeping if she's used to the background noises of your home.
What Does Your Baby Look Like?
Your baby is born wet, usually with some blood on her body. A white or yellow waxy substance, called vernix, may cover part or much of her body. This is easily removed by cleaning the baby's skin.
You will probably notice that your baby's head is large in proportion to the rest of her body. It can look enormous on the baby's tiny body. At birth, the head measures 25% of her entire length. As she grows, this proportion will change until her head is only about 12% of her adult height. If your baby made her appearance into this world through the birth canal, her head may be misshapen or elongated. This shape is only temporary and becomes more normal appearing over the next few days.
You may notice other things about your baby's appearance that surprise you. Her cheeks may be pouchy, her eyelids swollen and her head pointy. A newborn's nose may look too flat to breathe through, but babies manage to breathe through them. These are normal and will change as she grows.
You may be distressed when you see the baby's pulse throbbing at the two soft spots on her head, called the fontanels. This is normal, so don't worry about it. Your baby may be born with lots of hair or none at all. If she has an abundance of hair, it may fall out in the first 6 months; don't worry. The new hair may be entirely different in color and texture. If she's bald, it's not a permanent condition; her hair will eventually grow.
A newborn's eyes may be swollen or puffy immediately following birth because of the pressure in the birth canal. Swelling improves quickly. You may also notice your baby's eyes are slightly irritated and red. This is caused by the antibiotic ointment applied to her eyes shortly after birth to prevent eye infections. Irritation and redness usually disappear within a couple of hours.
One of your baby's eyes may wander when she looks at you, or she may look cross-eyed. Eye muscles aren't strong enough yet to control eye movements. A wandering eye usually corrects itself by the time the baby is 6 months old. If she still has a problem after that, discuss it with your pediatrician.
The skin folds at the inner corners of a baby's eyes may make it look as if the baby is squinting. As time passes, these folds become less prominent. Your baby's skin may be wrinkled, peeling, scratched, blotchy, hairy or pimpled, or it may look perfect. A newborn's skin often begins to dry out and may become flaky and scaly after birth. This condition can last for a few weeks. You don't need to treat it, but you may want to rub a little lotion into your baby's skin.
If you're worried that your baby may have been born with a disability or deformity, talk to your pediatrician about your concerns. This is all new to you, so it's OK to ask questions.
When Your Baby Cries
Most parents feel distress when they hear their baby cry—especially when they cannot comfort the baby. Crying is natural for babies; it's their way of communicating. When your baby cries, she is communicating to you that she is hungry, tired or lonely. Or she may be telling you she needs to be burped or changed. She might cry if she feels sick, scared or in pain. Sometimes a baby cries when she is overstimulated. After the first few weeks, you'll learn what her different cries mean.
The way you hold your baby brings special comfort to her. When you touch her, it tells her she is not alone. You won't spoil her if you comfort her when she's fussy. Finding the tricks that work with your baby usually comes through trial and error, but you'll eventually learn what works best for her. Some common solutions include reducing stimulation, giving the baby something to comfort her, such as her hand or a pacifier, wrapping her securely in a blanket, laying her on her stomach across your lap and stroking her, or softly humming or singing to her.
Occasionally a baby's crying can cause distress in you. If you find this happening, call a friend or relative to stay with baby so you can take a break. Get out of the house for a walk or some quiet time. Exercise helps relieve stress.
Copyright © 2002 by Glade B. Curtis and Judith Schuler. Excerpted from Bouncing Back After Your Pregnancy with permission of its publisher, Perseus Books Group, Inc. All rights reserved.
To order this book visit perseusbooksgroup.com.