Toilet Training: Early Signs of Readiness

Sometime around her second birthday, a child may show some initial interest in the potty or training seat. But often this interest vanishes soon after, especially if eager parents have latched on with excitement. Don't be fooled by these early expressions of interest. Let these first steps be the child's.

Before 2 years of age, your child is not likely to be ready for toilet training. But it is time to begin to watch for seven new behaviors—usually not all present until after the second birthday—as the earliest signs of a child's readiness for toilet training. When one or two of these signs appear, parents are bound to want to forge ahead with toilet training. But the child is still not likely to be ready. Parents will need to wait for all seven to appear. Later on, there will be more advanced signs that a child is ready. These are the seven earliest signs of readiness:

1. She's not as excited about walking and being on her feet all the time. She's ready to sit down and learn a new task. She's made progress with walking, balancing, even running, and now is more interested in sitting still to learn to use her fingers for more complex activities. Most children are at least 18 months, often older, before this happens.

2. She has receptive language, that is, the ability to understand the words she hears, for example, a parent's wishes. Along with this, she can remember what she is told, and translate it into action. She can even listen to and carry out a two-step command: "Go to your bedroom and bring me a book for us to read together." And she's so proud of herself when she succeeds.

3. She can say, "No!" In other words, she needs the ability to make her own decision about whether she is ready or not. All too often a child may comply with toilet training for a period as if to please the parent. But then she may stop, as if she's realized "this wasn't my idea." She may even hold back her bowel movements and urine until she herself is ready. (If this leads to painful constipation, she'll have even more reason to hold back, setting up a vicious cycle.) Don't push her before she knows how to tell you whether she's ready. Once she can protest with words when feeling the need to stand her ground, she will be able to make toilet training her own job.

4. She will start putting things where they belong. She may even begin to pick up her toys. She will put blocks in the box where they belong. She may even bring your slippers to you because she knows they belong with you, and not scattered across your bedroom floor! Some children this age not only begin to learn where things go, but also become very interested in arranging and organizing, for example, amusing themselves for long periods by carefully lining up toy cars or doll furniture. I am always amazed at this orderliness that crops up sometime after a child's second birthday. She is getting ready to use her potty as an appropriate place for her "products"—but not yet.

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