|

Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

Are My Classroom Rules Paranoid?

Family Safety Expert Advice from Gavin de Becker

Q: I was advised to read your book, The Gift of Fear, after I was kidnapped at gunpoint and raped by three strangers, one of whom was 19.

I wish I knew about your book before that horrible summer. Since the attack, I've become a high school teacher and one of my class rules is that all students must place their bookbags against the rear wall. I don't let them keep their bags beside their seats. My reasoning, as I told all my classes, is to keep aisles free of obstacles in case of emergency as well as a safety precaution for normal movement. I also told them it was because I didn't know what each kid brought to school and I wanted to lessen the chance of having a weapon brought out in class.

I don't want to make my kids to think that I don't trust them and that I assume the worst about them, nor do I want to create a negative atmosphere in my class. Am I being too paranoid?

A: You're not paranoid. You're probably just having a natural reaction to your past experience but I don't think you're reacting to an actual risk. While the book bag rule may lessen your anxiety, I don't think it's necessary, and wouldn't be effective in any event. And, yes, it sends a negative message to your students.

Your rule is also serving as a constant reminder to you of your own anxiety about your attack. Frightening news stories aside, school is still one of the safest places people can ever go. It may be a great lesson to your students if you put an end to the rule and told them you were probably reacting to a violent experience you suffered.

Whatever you do, be sure to give yourself some understanding. You have survived your experience, but full recovery takes time.

More on: Expert Advice

Gavin de Becker is widely regarded as the leading U.S. expert on the prediction and management of violence. His work has earned him three Presidential appointments and a position on a congressional committee. He is currently co-chair of the Domestic Violence Council Advisory Board, and a Senior Fellow at the UCLA School of Public Policy.


Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

highlights

Top 10 End-of-Year Teacher Gifts
School is in the final stretch! Find unique and sweet teacher appreciation gifts to help say thanks and farewell to your favorite educator at the end of the school year.

10 Most Common Pregnancy Cravings Decoded
Sweet, salty, sour, spicy — cravings during pregnancy can run the gamut. Read on to find out what foods pregnant women crave the most and why.

Safest Sunscreens for Kids
Wondering what the best sunscreens are to use on your child? Check out these natural sunscreens for kids. They're chemical-free and will keep your child safe from the sun’s harmful rays.

Are Your Kids Sick of Sandwiches for Lunch?
By this point in the school year, your kids are probably tired of the same old sandwiches. Find some new and different school lunch ideas that will help fuel your child through June.