Raising the Perfect Parent
by Carleton KendrickJ.S. Salt is a seasoned writer and father-to-be. But he never thought to put these two sides of his life together until he needed some good parenting advice. Words of wisdom that would help his kid thrive. But after a few visits to the self-help shelves of local bookstores, he was less than thrilled with the bland advice of famous parenting gurus. That's when the big idea hit him. What if the parenting advice came from kids? So he went to the real "experts."
Over many years, J.S. met with over one thousand children, ages 6-12, from varied economic and ethnic backgrounds, and he asked them to finish this sentence: "If I could tell my parents how to raise me, I'd tell them "__________________." 147 of their handwritten responses, some with drawings, make up his book, Always Kiss Me Good Night--Instructions on Raising the Perfect Parent. Read this gem. Give it to a friend. It's only one of a handful of parenting guides I can wholeheartedly recommend.
The real experts
So here are my favorite parenting tips from kids in ...Perfect Parent. After each of my suggestions, J. S. Salt's kids offer their advice on the topic. It's readily apparent to me who the real experts are.
Children want and need to know about your childhood:
Tell me a story about when you were a child. --Stephanie
Take me to where you grew up. --Rob
Tell me stories about my ancestors. --Bobby
Quality time is a myth. Kids need you to spend different kinds of time with them:
Talk to me about your day. --Alison
Eat dinner with me. --Walter
Take me somewhere special once in a while, by myself, without my sister. --Vivi
Sometimes can you play with me instead of saying no? --Fran
Read to me (even though I can read). --Amanda
Parents need to model the family's values:
If you get mad at me remember to forgive me. --Suzanne
Treat me like you treat your customers. --Karen
Respect my stuff. --Elyse
Encourage your child's spontaneity and your own:
Let me get wet in the rain. --Jessica
I love it when you give me presents that are not expected. --Michael
Let me go on the escalator that goes up when I'm going down. --Eric
Don't 'over plan' your kid's childhood:
More FREE TIME!!! Don't fill up every minute of the day. --Christine
I like piano, but I would like to stop, life is good when you're a kid so you should have some fun. (accompanied by a drawing of a kid diving into the water) --Alex
Let me get into the sports I want to get into. --Ben
Help a child find her own voice:
Let me have my own style. --Stephanie
Let me make a mess when I'm doing art. --Addison
Raise me right because I want to be someone in life. --Renadeau
Appreciate your child's efforts rather than focusing on his accomplishments:
Be proud of my best. --Jessica
Be proud of me even if I didn't get all the answers right. --Sach
Tell me what I did right. --Amanda
Kids need to have a say in the family:
Let me have a vote in the things we do together. --Kate
If you have a problem, listen to me. Maybe I can help. --Dylan
Let me make decisions that I think would be good and maybe they would be as good as the decisions you made for me. --Caleb
Kids need to hear the words "I love you" often. They also need love shown:
Say "I love you," once in a while, not just when I'm leaving for school. --Amber
Write notes to me on my lunch box napkin. -- Jenny
When I'm down, raise me up. --Eric
Snuggle me up in your arms. --Sasha
We "experts" talk about raising kids. We don't have the answers. Children will tell us how to raise them well. If only we'd listen.
Read Carleton Kendrick's bio.
